Grandma Has ADHD

Episode 37 – Executive Function Coach, Sarah Kesty Your Brain is a Factory Not a Warehouse

• Jami Shapiro • Episode 37

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In this episode of Grandma Has ADHD, host Jami Shapiro welcomes executive function coach and ADHD expert @Sarah for an eye-opening conversation about executive dysfunction in older adults—a topic rarely talked about but incredibly important.

If you're over 50 and struggling with focus, organization, procrastination, or memory, this episode is for you. Jami and Sarah dive into the executive functioning challenges many adults face as they age, especially those living with late-diagnosed or overlooked ADHD.

Sarah explains what executive function really is—how it affects daily tasks like time management, impulse control, and decision-making—and why these issues often intensify with age. She also shares real-life examples, practical tools, and ADHD-friendly strategies for managing your home, work, and routines with more ease and confidence.

From using password managers and phone hacks to building simple, effective systems for staying on track, this episode is packed with supportive guidance. You’ll also hear how executive function coaching can help older adults reduce stress, increase productivity, and finally feel understood.

Whether you’re newly diagnosed in your 50s, 60s, or beyond—or supporting someone who is—this episode will show you that it’s never too late to understand your brain and thrive.

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Grandma Has ADHD! We hope Jami's journey and insights into ADHD shed light on the unique challenges faced by older adults. Stay tuned for more episodes where we’ll explore helpful resources, share personal stories, and provide guidance for those navigating ADHD. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends who might benefit. Remember, Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

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Have you ever thought, is this just me? When struggling to stay organized, start tasks, or manage time, for those of us over 50, these challenges might not be just aging. They could be a DHD hiding in plain sight for decades. I'm Jamie Shapiro, host of Grandma has a DHD, and I'm building a community where your experiences matter.

Whether you are diagnosed, questioning or simply curious. You are not alone. Our Facebook group is filled with vibrant understanding. People over 50 who share their stories, strategies, and yes, even their struggles with plenty of laughter along the way. Ready to find your people. Join our growing grandma has a DHD Facebook community.

Please like and subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen and share it with someone who might need to hear. They're not alone because A DHD doesn't have an age limit and neither does understanding yourself better. Together, we're changing the conversation about A DHD after 50 come be part of the story.

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[00:01:30] Jami Shapiro: Hi, and welcome to the Grandma has a DHD podcast.

[00:01:36] Jami Shapiro: Today we are going to explore one of the biggest challenges for people who have A DHD, and that is executive functioning. And who better to explore that conversation with than Sarah Kesty, who is a podcast host and an executive function expert. So Sarah. Kesty is a coach, author, and speaker. She created Brain Tools, school and hosts the Executive function podcast.

[00:02:04] Jami Shapiro: She is a four-time teacher of the year. Sarah's coaching and learning program supports high schoolers, college students and adults in developing skills and mindset for thriving in life. Sarah specializes in translating research into real life actionable support. She regularly writes and presents for education groups and publications, including Psychology Today, KQED and Edutopia.

[00:02:30] Jami Shapiro: Her mission is to empower teachers to support executive function development. And secondary students. She's an avid gardener and a local trail guide here in the San Diego area where she lives surrounded by birds and nature. And she has a book that is coming out for teachers in August of 2025 that's quite impressive, called Growing Executive Function.

[00:02:53] Jami Shapiro: So welcome Sarah. That was a lot. And you have so much to teach us so. We're gonna start at the basics 'cause Sarah, you're one of the guests that actually does not have a DHD, but I would love to know, first off, how you decided to make A DHD your career. 

[00:03:11] Sarah Kresty: Ooh, good question. When I was teaching, I taught mostly middle school for nearly 20 years, and the population that I noticed needed the most support and yet got the most shade thrown at them were my kids with a DHD or my kids that were struggling with executive function because 

mm-hmm.

[00:03:30] Sarah Kresty: We live in a society that tells you it's like morality and character. If you can be on time or be organized and. While I very much disagree with that, that was kind of the reality my kids were functioning in, and so they needed strategies. And as I kind of figured out and sort of workshopped, okay, here are some really effective ways to do it, you just watch the kids blossom and I'm like, okay, I've gotta find a way to package this and get it out there to people where it's empowering and helpful and doesn't make you feel.

[00:04:05] Sarah Kresty: Because you have challenges, and so that's kind of a short version of the long experience that got me here. 

[00:04:13] Jami Shapiro: Okay. Well I love that you have the passion for helping people. So as we talked about, my audience is really seniors age, although I don't consider people that are 50 seniors.

[00:04:23] Jami Shapiro: We are older adults in the A DHD space, and we're sort of left out of the conversation frequently. And so first of all, give us a good idea of what executive. Functioning is maybe what it looks like with in children, right? As a teacher, but then also might what it might look like for adults. So can you back us up and tell us a little bit about that?

[00:04:44] Sarah Kresty: Absolutely. So executive function is all often kind of analogized to like a conductor with all the little parts of a symphony or an app airport, traffic controller, like managing lots of different things and that certainly gives a good. Demonstration of the complexity and the layers, but it doesn't really tell us what it's, so I like to kind of zoom out from that and say, okay, yes, it's complex, there's a lot going on, but functionally what does it look like?

[00:05:14] Jami Shapiro: Right? 

[00:05:16] Sarah Kresty: Right. Like, it looks like the mental skills and habits we have to take care of ourselves in the moment and in the future. That's just kind of the broad brush. So if we, if we scooted it down to smaller things, I think of it like a tree with three big branches. And I see the future skills branch, like organizing, planning, prioritizing.

[00:05:42] Sarah Kresty: And then I see the center branch where it's kind of self-management and attention management. So this would be like. Self-regulating or having strategies to get back on task when you get distracted. And then the third one is learning and memory. So off of that branch would be like, how do you remember to do the things that you scheduled in the other branch?

[00:06:08] Sarah Kresty: Or how do you manage learning new things, which I caution adults just to not dismiss that and say, well. That's fine. I'm not in school 'cause we're constantly learning. We're learning people's names, we're learning ways to do things with technology, we're learning. So,

[00:06:26] Jami Shapiro: mm-hmm. 

[00:06:27] Sarah Kresty: Day to day executive function is everywhere all the time.

[00:06:31] Jami Shapiro: So, okay, that's a good description. So give me some real life examples. I would love to have a real life example of maybe how it might affect an older adult in their data. Can you kind of, maybe, 'cause I like stories, it helps me to understand a concept. Could you give us a story or an example?

[00:06:50] Jami Shapiro: Yeah, 

[00:06:50] Sarah Kresty: absolutely. And this will be super relatable because as our bodies age, we have a lot of appointments. Mm-hmm. 

[00:06:58] Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm. Like, 

[00:06:58] Sarah Kresty: oh, I gotta go see this specialist, and oh, I have to make this phone call and I have to follow up on this prescription. Like managing, being a human becomes like a layer of job.

Mm-hmm. 

[00:07:10] Sarah Kresty: So if we think about just the executive function that would go into making it to an appointment on time, we've got, okay. What kind of systems do you have in place to remind yourself of the appointment? In intact sort of high level executive function would be like, you have a routine to check your schedule the night before, or maybe like a routine of like looking at the week ahead.

[00:07:34] Sarah Kresty: If you have pretty scattered executive function, it might be all the way to the other extreme where it's like the doctor is calling you at your appointment time because you're late. 

Mm-hmm. and 

[00:07:44] Sarah Kresty: there's a space in between for all of it, so we would need. Time management and kind of like the schedule skills to make it on time.

[00:07:54] Sarah Kresty: We'd have to kind of be able to estimate time and know like about how many hours do I need between wake up and leave the house. Mm-hmm. And then backwards plan when to wake up the night before. And even as I'm describing this, I'm like, wow, that is a lot of layers. Right. And then we may even have, and I'll stop here 'cause I could go on and on, but we may even have the, the habit of thinking in terms of future us.

[00:08:25] Sarah Kresty: Mm-hmm. Which means if the night before I'm thinking, okay, I'm not real energetic in the mornings, I wanna think of future me, what will she need? And then do those things the night before, like. Put out the coffee cup, find my keys if I need to havean outfit with shoes ready to roll so that the morning is easier.

[00:08:47] Sarah Kresty: And that's just some examples of the executive function that goes into making it to an appointment. 

[00:08:53] Jami Shapiro: I'm gonna brag for a minute about myself. Yeah, do it. 'cause I actually employ several of the things that you mentioned. I look at my day, that's gonna come the day before, but I also,roll out my month.

[00:09:06] Jami Shapiro: At a glance and going into the month so they know what big things are coming up, what do I need to break down. And then I also do my week and I also call myself future Jamie. And I think what is future Jamie going to need tomorrow to be set up for success? So I do a lot of presentations and so I will load my car with anything that I'm going to need so that I know that it's already there.

[00:09:27] Jami Shapiro: And 'cause something will come up in the morning, it's just inevitable like. That's just, I don't know if it's a DHD or just life, but there's always some sort of something that comes up that I'm now dealing with and falling behind. So I love that. And I also like to share, with people who are listening.

[00:09:42] Jami Shapiro: Another thing that we recommend with Silver Linings in the organizing space is to have a command center. So that when you come home, this is where your keys go. This is where, those important things. This is maybe you have a phone docking station. I am always losing my phone too.

[00:09:55] Jami Shapiro: That's a whole other conversation, but okay. So that's part of executive functioning, so caring for your body, making those appointments looking at your schedule, knowing time, like how, and that's another thing that people with a DH ADHD struggle with is estimating time. do you know why we struggle with ES estimating time.

[00:10:14] Sarah Kresty: There's a couple, they kind of think of a DHD as like a hardware and software thing in our brains. So there's like different components that might function different as as far as the hardware. You know, like there's some differences in thalamus, for example, which is kind of like the gate that would keep your impulses.

[00:10:32] Sarah Kresty: Sometimes the gate is like wide open. And then there's a software with like. Dopamine and the neurotransmitters that kind of activate us. So it's, I don't know that they've exactly near like, dialed in what the brain difference is, but there's consistency across people with a DHD saying like they can't internally feel time and times relative based on interest.

[00:10:59] Sarah Kresty: Mm-hmm. So if I'm really into something, my brain's pumping dopamine, I'm feeling that like leaned in feeling. Time is also gonna, right. Yeah. Like it's gonna feel like it speeds up versus I sometimes describe a DHD as like an allergy to boredom. Mm-hmm. It's that when back, oh my gosh, is this ever gonna end?

[00:11:18] Sarah Kresty: My skin's coming off of me feeling, and that's when time relative to our experience feels like it expands. 

[00:11:25] Jami Shapiro: I love that allergy to boredom. So I'm one of these people that if I have an extra 10 minutes rather than getting somewhere, on time and having to sit and be bored, that's like borcher.

[00:11:36] Jami Shapiro: I will, oh, what err can I run in this amount of time? and then, well, I would've been on time. I end up late because I'm really good about leaving my house on time. Anyway, Damien, I hate me 

[00:11:47] Sarah Kresty: early too. I hate it so much. it makes me so uncomfortable. I will pack my purse or my bag with something to do.

[00:11:54] Sarah Kresty: Usually like sending little postcards to my people or something because if I have minutes that I'm wasting. Ew. Yeah, what's up with us? That's strange. 

[00:12:04] Jami Shapiro: It's, that is, I like the idea of those sending the, the postcards or doing, having something packed so that I could be on time and just, sit and, and do that.

[00:12:12] Jami Shapiro: Okay. So give me some other examples and then of course, I definitely wanna make sure that we address how use an executive function coach, help people. So, I'd like to hear some more real life examples of how this might impact, the people who might be listening today.

[00:12:25] Sarah Kresty: Absolutely. Okay, so you mentioned borcher, which is boredom, torture. 

[00:12:30] Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm. 

[00:12:31] Sarah Kresty: You can plan for that. So if there are moments of your life where, like you don't have to admit it listeners, but like sitting through your grandchild's recital when all the other kids are going and you're like, oh my gosh, I am done with this.

[00:12:45] Sarah Kresty: Sure. 

[00:12:46] Jami Shapiro: Yes. 

[00:12:47] Sarah Kresty: You know what I mean? 

[00:12:47] Jami Shapiro: My kid's not on stage. Yeah. I'm there. so what do we do? 

[00:12:52] Sarah Kresty: So we can think of ways to engage and we can think about either handling it where we have ways to engage our brains or engage our bodies, but planning to know, Hey, I'm gonna be bored. What's my toolbox for boredom?

[00:13:08] Sarah Kresty: So for examples, it could be something fun that you hold and kind of like magnets that you can reshape, a ring that you can play with. Just something that's quiet. And fidgety and maybe special to those particular boredom times. So it's not something like a pen cap and you're like, okay, well I have access to this all the time, but potentially something fun to do that, can anchor you through a little bit during those boring times.

[00:13:35] Sarah Kresty: Or mentally you can challenge yourself to. Count how many times a speaker says a certain word, or try to rhyme in your head or something that gives your brain a job so that you're not just passively waiting for time to get through, but you have some ways to feel a little bit more engaged so it's not so torturous.

[00:14:00] Jami Shapiro: Right. Well, and also that's a lot less rude than me. I get my block blaster game out, which apparently is like the new thing. My daughter plays it too. And then I've got my phone out and I look rude and, but I cannot be bored. so yeah, the idea, I mean, I have children and watching someone else's kid perform when my child is not on stage is okay.

[00:14:19] Jami Shapiro: So that's a great example. So are there any other examples before I come in and we talk about how somebody would work with you as an executive functioning coach, or what would make them reach out to you? Any other stories that you can share that might be relatable to the audience? 

[00:14:34] Sarah Kresty: Yeah. I'm like, gosh, there's so, so, so many.

[00:14:36] Sarah Kresty: Money management is something that comes up because A DHD has that beautiful, fun thing to be around of high energy and impulsivity, but also. When that's attached to an ATM card, that's, 

got 

[00:14:50] Sarah Kresty: some spiky moments there. So if you are struggling with impulsivity, if it's with money, if it's with blurting things out, 

[00:14:59] Sarah Kresty: but there's lots of moments where we might kind of. Act without thinking. 

[00:15:04] Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm. 

[00:15:04] Sarah Kresty: like just that impulsive, oh, I have 10 seconds of boredom, Oop, gotta have my phone. That's high intensity feedback. 

Mm-hmm. 

[00:15:13] Sarah Kresty: if you are noticing patterns like that or the people around, you're saying like, Hey, how come you interrupt?

[00:15:18] Sarah Kresty: How come you're on your phone when I need you? That kind of thing. First take some space to say, okay, this is neurological. It's not me being a bad human. Like it's part of a manifestation of A DHD. And then say, all right, so planning for future Jamie, like we were saying, or planning for future Sarah, how can I make it more difficult for myself to get into that impulse?

[00:15:43] Sarah Kresty: How can I put a little bit of space? Mm-hmm. In between me and the action. So I have the opportunity to say, whoa, I don't actually wanna do that. Mm-hmm. Does that make sense? 

[00:15:54] Jami Shapiro: It absolutely does. Yeah. For sure. No, I think that's been one of the challenges with Overshopping is that now, it's at the touch of your fingers that you can go on to Amazon.

[00:16:03] Jami Shapiro: One of the things that I recommend to my clients is that they put that thing that they want on a list. And if they still want it after three days and they've had time to think about it, if they're not buying it impulsively. But the other thing that I've suggested is, maybe think of something that you want to save for some project or some trip that you wanna do.

[00:16:20] Jami Shapiro: And,when you don't spend that money, put it into that account or put it in towards, that. Thing. And so that's also a way to sort of hack that impulsivity. I was at a senior community. I was doing a talk, I do the presentation. Grandma has a DHD. There were a couple people in the audience. After they left, one of the women that worked there said she is constantly making people upset.

[00:16:41] Jami Shapiro: She's always blurting things out. she doesn't even know she has a DHD, like the woman that heard it was like, oh, she's like The poster child for it, people don't wanna talk to her because she's just always saying inappropriate things and she doesn't have that filter.

[00:16:53] Jami Shapiro: I know. I really struggled with that a lot as a child, that filter, and I'm, thankfully, I've aged into. doing a little better job with that filter. So I want to find out from you, when we come back from break what would make somebody bring in an executive functioning coach? Like, how do they even know that it exists?

[00:17:12] Jami Shapiro: Because I didn't even know that there was such a thing as an executive functioning coach until you and I connected. So, Sarah, I would love to hear more about that when we come back.

 

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[00:18:38] Jami Shapiro: We are back with Sarah Kesty an executive function coach. And during our break I always ask the guests, is there anything that you wanna make sure that I've asked you or anything we didn't cover?

[00:18:49] Jami Shapiro: And she said, I'd really like to go back to that impulsivity conversation and some other things you can do. Is that okay? And I said, absolutely. So Sarah, please tell, us, give us your wisdom.

[00:19:01] Sarah Kresty: Well, no pressure, right? Just in the context of wisdom, if you're listening and you're like, oh, I've tried that, that didn't work.

[00:19:08] Sarah Kresty: Or you get a really cool strategy, and then you're like, oh, it didn't fit. Remember that? It takes some time to adjust and it's normal. It is so normal to hear a strategy, try it out and need to workshop it a bunch. Mm-hmm. So if you have a fail with anything that you hear on the show or you read in a magazine, please take it as a sign that you're just getting closer to finding your just right recipe.

[00:19:34] Sarah Kresty: You are not a failure. It's not that strategies won't ever work, it's just that. You need some time to like try 'em on. It's like shoes, you gotta wear 'em in. So. 

Mm-hmm. With 

[00:19:44] Sarah Kresty: that, a couple other ideas to kind of make that space with impulsivity. So Jamie mentioned like the blurting out. Mm-hmm. Sometimes we blurt because it's just flying out and other times we blurt 'cause we're worried we're not gonna remember it.

[00:20:00] Jami Shapiro: Oh, for sure. And that's really common. 

[00:20:04] Sarah Kresty: And so one of the strategies I teach. Like all age spans is to put it on your fingers. Yeah. So that means you kind of hold the idea and some people will like pinch their finger and like, okay, I'm holding the idea. I wanted to talk about binders, right? Mm-hmm. And then they're just kind of like binders, binders to try to help them keep it.

[00:20:23] Sarah Kresty: Some people will hold their fingers to be like, okay, I had this, this, and this to add. Some people will physically put their hands in their pocket as sort of okay, I just put my idea in my pocket. It's safe. And oftentimes that helps preserve the idea, but even if it doesn't, it helps give you something to do when you're feeling like you need that impulse to say it without mm-hmm.

[00:20:46] Sarah Kresty: Interrupting. So, okay, that one's available. And then if it is like a. Tech impulse or something, just making it harder for yourself to get into it, so. Mm-hmm. I have a couple social media apps that like, don't always make me feel so good, but I use them for my business, so. Mm-hmm. I had my husband put them in a folder and then label the folder something funny, like, and he'll change it once in a while so that it catches my attention where I'm like looking at it.

[00:21:16] Sarah Kresty: Honestly, Jamie, the label's, folder's called Fart. I love it. It's my fart folder. And so when I look at it, I go, and then that gives me just enough time to say, actually, I don't need to press that button. I was just bored. I'm not gonna get into it. And so I also sign out of everything that's tempting.

[00:21:35] Sarah Kresty: So sign out, sign outta Facebook, because if there's that little bit of like, oh, I gotta sign in. That gives you the opportunity to make the pause to evaluate, do I really wanna do this? 

[00:21:48] Jami Shapiro: Well, my problem would be that I would not remember the sign in. And I do wanna put a plugin for password managers. I personally use LastPass, by the way.

[00:21:56] Jami Shapiro: we don't have any paid advertisers. I'm just saying it's a good app and you can use it for free. But, oh, the other one I wanted to share with you is I learned a good one, which is you can turn your phone into gray scale, where you can make it black and white and it is not as appealing to look at it, but when you use the camera, by the way, you're still taking the pictures in color, but you're not as attracted to your phone.

[00:22:18] Jami Shapiro: So that's another one that I just thought of. 

[00:22:21] Sarah Kresty: That's a great one. Oh my gosh. 

[00:22:23] Jami Shapiro: Yeah. I can send you how to do, if you want, or. It is good and it has, it has helped me when I need to not be on my phone. I'll tell you what, block blaster is not so fun in black and white, I'll tell you that. 

[00:22:36] Sarah Kresty: Oh my gosh, good point.

[00:22:37] Sarah Kresty: Because then you're looking for gradients, not colors. That's hard. 

[00:22:40] Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Okay. So do you feel like there's anything else we need to cover within impulse control before we get to why someone would hire an executive function and how you work with them? 

[00:22:53] Sarah Kresty: Yeah. I think just more globally like.

[00:22:56] Sarah Kresty: there's space to feel both frustrated by some of the experiences of A DHD and empowered that, you know, why. And in that kind of juxtaposition sort of space, we can then say, all right, and now I can look into strategies. And that's kind of the cool spot that actually segues right into coaching because coaching does like executive function coaching A DHD coaching.

[00:23:22] Sarah Kresty: Just provides you a space to lay it all out there in a place that's not judgemental, that won't tell you what you should do, because it's just a space to experiment and kind of air out your thoughts. Here's what's tricky, and do basically what you and I are doing, Jamie, like share ideas or find strategies that are brain friendly.

[00:23:44] Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm. Okay. So who normally seeks you out? How do they find you and what does that process look like? 

[00:23:53] Sarah Kresty: Great question. People seek me out after things like this or hearing from a friend, like, oh my gosh, it's changed everything. I really want this support. So that's generally how people find me or through my podcast or writing, I guess.

[00:24:06] Sarah Kresty: I got a lot out there. And generally they are looking for support because they've tried other things. They're feeling really frustrated. They're oftentimes, I work with very bright people who are frustrated because it's the small things that are weighing them down, like being late mm-hmm. Or missing deadlines or, struggling with communication.

[00:24:27] Sarah Kresty: Things that are required but not very often taught. 

Mm-hmm. 

[00:24:32] Sarah Kresty: And that's usually kind of the common thread when people reach out. 

[00:24:37] Jami Shapiro: Sure. Yeah. Okay. So give us a story of maybe a client that you have helped, just again, those stories are super relatable and, I want our audience to sort of hear that journey.

[00:24:49] Sarah Kresty: Yeah. Ooh, let me think. I had a college student, although this, this is pretty global example. I might actually do a mashup of a couple students that I can think of. Butwhen our brains are scattered, when our executive function is struggling, like life's overwhelming, right? Mm-hmm. 

Like mm-hmm.

[00:25:09] Sarah Kresty: It's a lot. And so I've had. Clients I've worked with that have been so overwhelmed that it's almost, they're almost in shutdown, like not really functioning very well. you know, I 

[00:25:21] Jami Shapiro: understand. I'm, yes. I've had this conversation with my oldest child because I really haven't had that happen frequently, and I had it happen recently, and my child, I think, you know, A DHD exists on a spectrum, and some of us are more impacted by it than others.

[00:25:33] Jami Shapiro: And my oldest child definitely is more impacted by it than I am. And I had that experience and I was like. Oh my God. Like to just not be able to just move forward or do anything. It was horrible and I'm not used to that, so I can't even imagine somebody that has to deal with that on a regular basis.

[00:25:52] Sarah Kresty: yeah, it's so true. and you mentioned it existing on a spectrum individually, it exists on a spectrum for people. So yeah, there was a 

[00:26:01] Jami Shapiro: new 

[00:26:01] Sarah Kresty: study, 

[00:26:02] Jami Shapiro: huh? Yeah. It morphs in our life. I mean, there are times in our life where it is, more present and other times where you don't even know that you have it.

[00:26:09] Sarah Kresty: And it's this weird Goldilocks paradox of like, the right amount of challenge and stress actually puts your brain in go mode. And so some of the symptoms decrease. Which is not what you'd expect. 'cause you would think added demands would, kind of flare up. The more I 

[00:26:24] Jami Shapiro: have to do, the more I get done, 

[00:26:27] Sarah Kresty: give it to a busy person, they will get it done.

[00:26:29] Jami Shapiro: Right, exactly. Yeah, 

[00:26:31] Sarah Kresty: to a point though. And then it's an overload and then we kind of go into like limbic activation and so I can see. Yeah, like students who like even during our coaching calls would be so overwhelmed. They're like, I have to turn off my camera and be quiet for a moment. Like that level of overwhelm that now are like, okay, I'll share my screen.

[00:26:53] Sarah Kresty: Here's what I did. Here's my plan. What do you think? Here's my time. Estimates. I mean, with practice, that's the great news about executive function. With practice, the skills get easier. Mm-hmm. They get better. If you feel like, oh my gosh, I don't have time to organically grow this, there are so many opportunities to augment it to like put it outside of your brain to timers, to apps to accountability partners.

[00:27:19] Sarah Kresty: So there really is no instance I've seen where it's too much of a deficit and you're never gonna gain any traction. There is always hope. 

[00:27:30] Jami Shapiro: That's awesome. I love that. So, so you were gonna give a story of a compilation of your students. I wanna make sure we go back to that. And then I definitely wanna make sure that we leave our listeners with how do they reach you if they want to work with you, and maybe three tips that you can provide that are gonna help our listeners.

[00:27:50] Sarah Kresty: Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So. I guess it's just kind of transformation. So I'm thinking of someone who was so overwhelmed by work and school that she would some days not be able to get out of bed. Like it was manifesting as a lot of like stomach aches and headaches and shaking and crying and it was a lot of overwhelm and with little bits of exposure and trying out strategies and coming back and saying, Hey.

[00:28:21] Sarah Kresty: This worked great. Oh my gosh. And we learned about her brain. We just sort of built up her toolbox and now she's about to go to work and go to school in a foreign country for a semester. She is like sometimes texting me like, oh my gosh, I found this cool strategy. Check this out. And it's very proactive.

[00:28:40] Sarah Kresty: So it's just such a different space that she's in really only a matter of months later. that's kind of the hope that I'm hoping that I'm projecting hope that, I'm hoping because it's so frustrating and we live in a society that tells us how bad we are if we have delayed or, kind of spotty executive function, and it's just not true.

[00:29:04] Sarah Kresty: You're a human who might need some strategies, but you're not a bad person for being late or forgetting things or, 

[00:29:12] Jami Shapiro: you know what I mean? I totally know. I mean, there's so much of this why, and I, I actually struggle with this personally. Why can't I get it together? Like why, for instance, I have. 30,000 unread emails on my, phone.

[00:29:24] Jami Shapiro: And why is it that my boyfriend who doesn't have a DHD has, doesn't, he's able to manage them every single day. so I even beat myself up. Although I created a company from the ground up, I can't seem to get in control of my email. Right. So I. Totally understand and can resonate with that voice of not knowing.

[00:29:41] Jami Shapiro: And I love that, those examples, and I love that hopefulness. again, because I am mom of a couple kids that have struggled with it, to hear that there is hope. So can you give us some tips of what would be some good takeaways for our listeners who, if you wanted to help them with executive function challenges, what might be three things that they could do, immediately to get started?

[00:30:02] Sarah Kresty: Great question. Okay, so step zero is forgive yourself. Remember that like not all of your thoughts about yourself are true. And some of them are the voice of society, not reality. So like 

mm-hmm 

[00:30:14] Sarah Kresty: you have space to be wonderful you and be a work in progress, and that's okay. Mm-hmm. So that's step zero. After that, step one would be to find ways to make time concrete.

[00:30:26] Sarah Kresty: So. Writing down a schedule, writing, putting clocks, whatever kind of clock works for you in the spaces that you spend a lot of time. So bathroom maybe even a shower clock, sometimes that's helpful for people. 

[00:30:40] Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm. A watch 

[00:30:40] Sarah Kresty: for yourself on the go, the kitchen. Just making sure that time is concrete and outside of your head because your internal clock might not be super reliable and that's okay.

[00:30:54] Sarah Kresty: Second thing is remember that your brain is a factory, not a warehouse. And I did not make up that quote, but I use it so much because we are good thinkers and problem solvers and all that, but we are terrible at storing things like a warehouse. And so as such, anything that matters can be written down.

[00:31:15] Sarah Kresty: And that doesn't mean like literally writing maybe. It could mean a voice memo or putting it in your notes. Just capture, capture, capture if it matters, because our brains will tell us, oh, you've got this. I'll remember no big deal. 

[00:31:32] Jami Shapiro: Hmm. 

[00:31:32] Sarah Kresty: And a lot of the times that's not true. 

[00:31:35] Jami Shapiro: Is that true by the way, for people who are neurotypical as well?

[00:31:38] Jami Shapiro: I know that's a big one that I struggle with. 

[00:31:41] Sarah Kresty: A hundred percent. I mean, if you think of our working memory, it's like a whiteboard in our brains. It reliably holds three to seven things at any given time, but it's the space that you use to hold things that you retrieve from memory. It's also what is used to like register, Hey, I'm hungry, or What's that sound?

[00:31:59] Sarah Kresty: And so if you think about it like a whiteboard, it's also a whiteboard that somebody's bumping into constantly and erasing. Mm-hmm. Unless we have strategies like writing things down or mindfully putting it into more longer term memory. 

Mm-hmm. It's 

[00:32:16] Sarah Kresty: not a reliable space, so just honoring that, like human memory.

[00:32:21] Sarah Kresty: Hmm. Little dodgy. So might as well augment outside of us, so mm-hmm. Make time, concrete, make things visual and honor that you have kind of. Dodgy memory as a human person. 

[00:32:37] Jami Shapiro: Okay. 

[00:32:38] Sarah Kresty: And then I would say the last thing is think of yourself like a mammal first. So what that means is, like you said, like, oh, what's wrong with me?

[00:32:45] Sarah Kresty: How come I can't get it together? I hear that from probably half of the people I work with every week. Mm-hmm. And I hear it from inside of this brain too. 

Mm-hmm. And 

[00:32:55] Sarah Kresty: oftentimes, some of the base elements for good executive function. our are based in our mammal needs. So, sleep, hydration, Jamie? I think it's like a 10% hydration, which is not much.

[00:33:11] Sarah Kresty: It's like going for a walk without a water bottle can impact and impair your decision making. The speed of your thoughts, like it's wild, how quickly you can get off balance with that. 

[00:33:24] Jami Shapiro: Oh, wow. I've never heard. See, that's why I love doing this. I always learn something that I didn't know. 

[00:33:30] Sarah Kresty: Yeah. 'cause we all kind of know sleep, right?

[00:33:32] Sarah Kresty: But like, oh, hydration. Woo. Big one. And that's that 

[00:33:35] Jami Shapiro: big of an impact. Okay. Yeah. So you're a mammal. You're a mammal. I'm a mamm, I'm a 

[00:33:39] Sarah Kresty: mammal. So are you Sarah? I know. Which also means like you gotta move and you gotta connect and you have to kind of. Feel emotionally regulated. I mean, we can see on brain scans and like behavioral observations, if somebody's really upset, they're not engaging their prefrontal cortex because their brain's in survival mode, right?

[00:34:01] Jami Shapiro: Like mm-hmm. 

[00:34:02] Sarah Kresty: Like if I'm in fight or flight and I'm feeling like I'm being chased by a lion, which is always the example, not true in current day, most of. My brain's not going to say, oh yeah, you can consider calculus right now.

[00:34:17] Sarah Kresty: Go ahead. It's gonna go, Nope, I'm slowing down your digestion. I'm getting you the heck outta here. I'm throwing more blood flow to your hands and feet. I guess where it's not. 

[00:34:28] Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm. I've definitely had those amygdala moments. So Sarah, this has been so informative. How can our listeners find you if they want to work with you?

[00:34:39] Jami Shapiro: I'm assuming that you work virtually and not just with people in San Diego. 

[00:34:43] Sarah Kresty: I do work virtually, yes. 

[00:34:44] Jami Shapiro: Okay. So what is your website? How can people find you? 

[00:34:48] Sarah Kresty: Sarah kesty.com. So first name, last name, com. 

[00:34:54] Jami Shapiro: So some people play spell Sarah with an A and some people spell it with an H. So it's Sarah, S-A-R-A-H, Kesty, KEST y.com.

[00:35:04] Jami Shapiro: Okay. 

[00:35:05] Sarah Kresty: Thank you. Good point. I'm thinking we have the visual support on here of my name, on the name tag, but this is a podcast as well listening. 

Mm-hmm. 

[00:35:13] Sarah Kresty: Well done, Jamie Shapiro. That's very accessible. Thanks. And then if people just want, you know, easy tips. I write for Psychology today. You can Google my name in there and that'll pop it up or.

[00:35:26] Sarah Kresty: My podcast, podcast has lovely people like Jamie Shapiro on it. and sometimes just me giving tips. So, 

[00:35:33] Jami Shapiro: Is that the executive function coach, or what is the name of your podcast? I'm sorry. 

[00:35:37] Sarah Kresty: You are very close. The Executive Function podcast. 

[00:35:40] Jami Shapiro: The Executive function podcast, and I'm looking forward to my episode airing with you and I'm so honored that you came on.

[00:35:49] Jami Shapiro: I learned so much. Is there anything, again, I can only speak for the A DHD brain or my brain, but sometimes I won't get off a podcast and I'll be like, oh, I wish I had said that. Is there anything that you wish you had said? 'cause I wanna make sure that we are whole and complete with this conversation.

[00:36:03] Jami Shapiro: I. 

[00:36:04] Sarah Kresty: Well done. You know what though? I'm gonna challenge your thinking. I don't know that we'll ever be whole and complete because we read and we learn, and so maybe there's just a piece in knowing to be continued. Like we're doing our best, we're giving cool ideas to the world, helping people of all different types of brains.

[00:36:24] Sarah Kresty: And just if you are a human with A DHD listening to this. Please know, like put this in your heart. There are people like me and Jamie out there that are presenting oftentimes for free and just really trying to get out there and say, Hey, wait, that's not a right or wrong way to do things.

[00:36:44] Sarah Kresty: There's a ton of hope we can build these skills and we need all types of brains in this world. 

[00:36:50] Jami Shapiro: Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I could go on and on about the hunter in the farmer's world and how those of us with A DHD are, we are so good in the heightened alert state. I do also wanna just share one more thing as we close out this conversation, and that is, If you are listening and you are a senior and you do think you can't learn anymore, and that's actually not true. They have proven that we have neuroplasticity, that we are able to continuously learn throughout our lives. What they've proven is it might take us longer to process something, but we can learn and do the same thing that somebody younger can do.

[00:37:22] Jami Shapiro: Only we have the wisdom and the experience. So I hope that you will share this podcast if you liked it, and that you'll subscribe and join our growing community on Facebook. At Grandma has a DHD. We are, building slowly, but building and as the world is becoming aware that, that seniors or those of us of 50 and over we should be part of the A DHD conversation too.

[00:37:47] Jami Shapiro: Sarah, thank you so much for being a guest on our show. 

[00:37:52] Sarah Kresty: My day to have time with you, Jamie. 

[00:37:55] Jami Shapiro: Aw, that's the sweetest thing anyone said all day.

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