Grandma Has ADHD

Episode 40 – When Moving Feels Impossible: ADHD and the Overwhelm of Life Transitions

• Jami Shapiro • Episode 40

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In this episode of Grandma Has ADHD, we dive into ADHD challenges and move management, exploring how both intersect to make moving, decluttering, and organizing feel overwhelming. However, with the right support, these challenges can absolutely be managed.

Host Jami Shapiro shares her personal experience living with ADHD. As a result, she explains how challenges like executive dysfunction, decision fatigue, time blindness, and emotional overwhelm can complicate even simple daily tasks. Naturally, these difficulties become even more intense during a major life event like moving.

Fortunately, there is help. Jami describes how move management services provide practical solutions for adults, seniors, busy professionals, and families. By breaking big projects into smaller, actionable steps, these services reduce stress and create sustainable organization.


Thank you for joining us for this episode of Grandma Has ADHD! We hope Jami's journey and insights into ADHD shed light on the unique challenges faced by older adults. Stay tuned for more episodes where we’ll explore helpful resources, share personal stories, and provide guidance for those navigating ADHD. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends who might benefit. Remember, Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

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Have you ever thought, is this just me? When struggling to stay organized, start tasks, or manage time, for those of us over 50, these challenges might not be just aging. They could be ADHD hiding in plain sight for decades. I'm Jamie Shapiro, host of Grandma has ADHD, and I'm building a community where your experiences matter.

Whether you are diagnosed, questioning or simply curious. You are not alone. Our Facebook group is filled with vibrant understanding. People over 50 who share their stories, strategies, and yes, even their struggles with plenty of laughter along the way. Ready to find your people. Join our growing grandma has ADHD Facebook community.

Please like and subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen and share it with someone who might need to hear. They're not alone because A DHD doesn't have an age limit and neither does understanding yourself better. Together, we're changing the conversation about ADHD after 50 come be part of the story.

[00:01:25] Jami Shapiro: Hi. Thank you for tuning into today's episode of Grandma Has ADHD. I'm going to keep it really real with you, as I always try to do. This is gonna be a solo episode, and the reason that it's gonna be a solo episode is that I was doing a coaching call for the podcast and the woman that I was coaching wanted to work

[00:01:52] Jami Shapiro: around one specific area which happened to be moving and she didn't really know what it was that I do. On the side of Grandma has ADHD and although we mention it on some of the podcasts and we'll insert that commercial, it's possible that a lot of people don't know that the industry that I am in exists.

[00:02:13] Jami Shapiro: And it's really important that you do have an understanding of it because I'm not just promoting my business in San Diego and Southern California, but there are people who do what I do in other places. So we're gonna talk about what that is, what led up to that. But I'm also going to keep it really real for you and let you know that as I've shared, openly, I have ADHD and when you have ADHDyou may struggle with organization and keeping things together. And if you had seen my room when I was a young child, there would've been stuff everywhere and I was constantly getting in trouble and I could not figure out how to get it together. And I can remember I always was getting in trouble for the way that my room lookedand I would get grounded and I still couldn't get it together.

[00:02:58] Jami Shapiro: Why am I sharing this with you? Because I have horrible internet reception in my house, which is where I record my podcast. And so I have to come to my 17-year-old daughter's room because she has the best internet in the house. And I have to create a quote unquote "zoom zone," which is not so cluttered, but there isn't a desk in her room.

[00:03:19] Jami Shapiro: So I sit in front of her little sofa and I push all of her stuff. I'd really like to call it what it is to the side and clear it out. But you know what? I'm gonna just keep it real today and show you what's really gone, because as I like to say, if I am real with you, then you are real with me and we all need to destigmatize.

[00:03:41] Jami Shapiro: Any of the challenges that we have, we're all human. We all carry strengths and we all carry weaknesses. So let me give you a little bit of the preface in the story and then I'll get into a little bit about executive functioning because I think that's really important to this conversation.

[00:03:56] Jami Shapiro: So I was talking to Lisa and she was sharing that she's been in her home. I think it was like 30 years. It was quite a while, and I don't remember honestly how long it was, but she knew that the time was coming for her to make a move and she was commuting 45 minutes to work. None of her friends were where she was.

[00:04:15] Jami Shapiro: Her homeowner's insurance was going up. And her family wasn't where she is anymore, but the idea of moving was overwhelming she was just completely stuck in all of that. And to be able to coach her through, "how have you made important decisions before and how have you broken down tasks before?"

[00:04:33] Jami Shapiro: And oh, by the way, have you heard of the National Association of Senior and Specialty Move Managers? So the reason that I'm bringing that up is that is actually an industry. It's not just national. I know that we're in Canada and other places, but we're gonna stick with, the Northern America.

[00:04:52] Jami Shapiro: But we are an organization that helps. People with big projects like moving. Now, each of us runs our own businesses, but we all are members of an organization that has a governing board and a code of ethics and training, and we go to national conferences. But it is something that. Really, really takes away the challenges of moving and breaks it down.

[00:05:16] Jami Shapiro: And like I said, we all run our businesses a little bit differently, but I will share with you, I'm in San Diego and I will share with you how it works if you are one of our clients and kind of guide you through the process. But I also think it's important for you to understand. When would I need or want to work with a move manager?

[00:05:34] Jami Shapiro: And by the way, the industry used to be called senior move managers because if you think about it, when we are seniors, we're probably going to a smaller space. So we have more decisions to make around what we're gonna keep and what we're not going to keep. But also as we age, we tend to have more physical challenges.

[00:05:51] Jami Shapiro: So a person who is a senior is more likely to need more help than somebody who is younger. But why the industry changed from senior move manager to senior and specialty move managers is that there were a lot of people who saw what we were doing for seniors and said, why am I gonna take my vacation days?

[00:06:11] Jami Shapiro: Or, pull my hair out and deal with the move, or I could just have somebody do it for me. So in San Diego, the first thing that we do is, we want to attract clients. And I'm gonna go on a tangent for you again. So, one of the ways that I am attracting clients as the owner of Silver Linings Transitions is that I go out and I speak publicly.

[00:06:32] Jami Shapiro: And I speak at senior centers, at senior communities, churches, to synagogues, I speak to anybody who will have us, because we don't have a lot of awareness about the industry in fact, they think it's only about 10% of the population. And a lot of times when people find out that this industry exists or when I tell them what I do, they're like, if I had known and if I had a dollar for every time somebody said that, I could probably retire.

[00:06:55] Jami Shapiro: Well, not quite, but. So I will go out and I'll speak and one of the interesting things that I have learned through my own journey with ADHD is that we tend to have a negative voice in our heads. And so I will focus more on any negative feedback than I do on positive. And that is probably because growing up when you have ADHD, there's all these negative, like, why can't you get your room clean?

[00:07:19] Jami Shapiro: Why can't you turn in your paper? Why can't you get it together? And so you get so many negative messages that that tends to be what you hold onto. So I was giving a presentation on organizing paperwork and I received feedback from the organization that had me come out. And, rather than focusing on the people that said good things, I focused on the person who said that I spent too much time promoting my business.

[00:07:43] Jami Shapiro: And so it's sitting with me and I'm sharing it with you because again, I am sharing who I am. So you can see what the struggles of ADHD looked like and you can relate to it. And I'm gonna kind of talk you through executive functioning and give you other examples. But I share this with you because number one, how do you promote a business unless you promote a business?

[00:08:00] Jami Shapiro: How do you bring people to work, to call on your company? But I'm also sharing it with you because that negative comment has pretty much ruined my whole day and all of the positive things that I do. And I was just selected to speak at the International ADHD conference on the intersection of seniors and ADHD, and I'm speaking all these other places, but I'm dwelling on that one negative

[00:08:19] Jami Shapiro: comment. So that's very much that rejection sensitivity and that emotional dysregulation of I am letting that one thing sabotage my whole day. So anyway, I wanna talk a little bit about executive functioning. So you understand why it lends itself so much to working with a move manager.

[00:08:35] Jami Shapiro: So what happens with executive functioning is something that a lot of people with ADHD have a deficit in, and that also can be the case for people as they age. But we're gonna apply it today towards ADHD. So one of the things that's hard is planning and prioritizing. So that's deciding what needs to be done and what order it needs to be done.

[00:08:56] Jami Shapiro: So I will tell you one of the things that I have found through my own discovery is that I would get invited to all of these events, whether it's a speaking event or a networking event. And I had a hard time deciding which ones were priority. And I would pretty much say yes to everything, where I found myself running from thing to thing to thing, and then never completing.

[00:09:17] Jami Shapiro: So I would grab business cards from people, but because I was so busy going from thing to thing to thing, I never was able to come back. Enter the business cards and do the proper follow up. So I struggled with the planning and prioritizing. So can you imagine if you are moving and it's a daunting task?

[00:09:33] Jami Shapiro: Again, moving is stressful under the best of circumstances. No matter whether you're neurotypical, you have ADHD no matter your age. It's huge. It's unsettling. there are a lot of steps involved. So that is planning and prioritizing in terms of executive functioning, estimating how long tasks will take or how long, something will take or being on time. There's something in the ADHD space called "Time Blindness," and I know that it is something a lot of people with ADHD are perpetually late and it can definitely be perceived as rude. I used to struggle a lot with it, and part of it for me was that I never liked to have that downtime.

[00:10:13] Jami Shapiro: So I didn't wanna show up and have 10 minutes of sitting there, because for me that's wasted time. And so I am working on doing a better job of,leaving on time, not trying to get extra errands in that 10 minute break. And then just being okay with working on something while I am sitting and waiting so that I can then be on time.

[00:10:32] Jami Shapiro: But also scheduling is a part of that, so people don't know how long it's gonna take them to pack the boxes. And I remember before I started my business. And was trying to manage the move on my own, pregnant with my second child. We just did not get all the packing done and at the last minute we had to have the movers come in, they're shoving everything into boxes and we did not properly plan and execute.

[00:10:53] Jami Shapiro: The amount of time that it was gonna take. The other ways that you will notice a problem is that you maintaining attention on important tasks. So I will be working on something and then, and maybe it's not the priority, maybe it's not what I really should be doing, but it's what I want to be doing.

[00:11:09] Jami Shapiro: And so we, will be the ones that will, maybe doing the laundry. And we walk into the laundry with our laundry basket, and then we see something that's resting on the shelf, and then we, oh, look at this. And then it distracts us. So then I'm also gonna be the person that leaves the laundry in the washing machine, and then it gets

[00:11:25] Jami Shapiro: old and nasty. So I have finally set my watch to remind myself to get the laundry out, or I will put dirty laundry, right by the stairs. So that's a cue for me. Oh, you've got laundry in the washing machine. But it's very much out of sight, out of mind. And trying to keep focused.

[00:11:40] Jami Shapiro: Another thing I'll tell you is difficult is switching between tasks. And I had heard that people with ADHD struggle with transitions. And I was thinking, oh, that was just like the transition of moving or no, it can be, I'm working on. This is the perfect example. Yesterday I had a credit card issue.

[00:11:55] Jami Shapiro: I'm trying to resolve it online. Technology is its own beast for people who have ADHD and also for people who didn't grow up with technology. I'm trying to get it done and my partner is trying to decorate for his daughter's 13th birthday and he wants to know where the tape is and I'm, working on my thing and I've got a deadline 'cause I've got somewhere I have to be.

[00:12:15] Jami Shapiro: And he wants me to stop what I'm doing to get the tape for him so that he can put the decorations up and I'm agitated at this point, 'causeI'm trying to get this done. So we really strugglewith transitions. Moving is a huge transition. So that could be a struggle for people.

[00:12:30] Jami Shapiro: And then holding on to instructions. Literally I could have someone just tell me a number, like even like four numbersand then I can forget it like immediately. So we really struggle with short-term memory and that is very, very key with people's ADHD as well as aging.

[00:12:48] Jami Shapiro: So switching between tasks. and then impulses a lot of times. I will just do something without thinking about it. I will say what's on my mind without pausing the way I'm supposed to do. And I tend to fly from activity to activity. So when I'm going into the kitchen to make my coffee, I will leave the cabinets open.

[00:13:06] Jami Shapiro: Or if I'm rushing too much, I will spill. I add protein to my coffee and I'll spill the protein and or I don't, properly put the cap back on. Or you probably hear me now even just like going really quickly when I'm speaking, just trying to get it all out. Another way that it shows up, especially for people who are inattentive is that they will overspend because they don't think about what they're spending.

[00:13:28] Jami Shapiro: They just see something and they buy it and they don't think through the consequences of that. So that's a generally idea of what executive functioning is, you can understand where a move management would be something that would really help. So taking you back and not pulling a squirrel moment, but how it would work is that

[00:13:45] Jami Shapiro: we would typically offer a free consultation to somebody who is considering our services. And what I wanna say is that we are not the movers. And a lot of times people don't even know what we do exist so they are only think of the movers. And of course, most of us don't have trucks and most of us aren't gonna be able to lift the heavy furniture.

[00:14:06] Jami Shapiro: So everybody, pretty much who moves almost always will need a mover, but they don't understand what it is that a move manager will do, and so I'm going to walk you through the process. So we will typically meet with a client. We'll assess what they have. We'll get a sense of how much clutter do they have, how do they hold onto their things?

[00:14:25] Jami Shapiro: What size home are they going to? What is their physical situation? Are they, using a cane? Do they use a wheelchair? Are they really mobile? I will say also as we age, it gets harder to lift our arms up. So we don't wanna put things that are too high up. We wanna get a sense of what feels comfortable for them, and then when we get a sense of their clutter or how much stuff they have, that will help us also in determining how much time somebody's gonna take.

[00:14:50] Jami Shapiro: And then the next thing that we do is we'll get a contract together. We do an estimate based on what they've told us or the size of the house that they're going into, or the community or wherever they're moving, and then looking at what they have we put together an estimate, which will include getting their floor plan done.

 

Ever wondered why helping a loved one declutter feels like speaking different languages? I did, especially with my mom. It wasn't until I founded Silver Linings Transitions helping San Diego seniors organize and move for over a decade that I discovered why we all experienced clutter differently. And for those of us with ADHD, it's a whole other world.

If you are listening in the San Diego area and feeling stuck with moving. Paperwork, photos or home organization. Our team at Silver Linings Transitions gets it. We understand ADHD's unique challenges and we won't just help you get organized. We'll create sustainable systems that. Finally stick Schedule a consultation with our team today at 7 6 0 5 2 2 1 6 2 4.

That's 7 6 0 5 2 2 1 6 2 4 or find us@silverliningstransitions.com.

 

[00:16:19] Jami Shapiro: Helping them sort through their belongings. Some people make really quick and easy decisions and they really don't need any help. other people, especially people with ADHD, may struggle with decisions. That's one of the things that I struggle with. I have a hard time with too many choices.

[00:16:32] Jami Shapiro: It's called decision fatigue. so, when, you have ADHD and one of the things that you benefit from is something called body doubling. Where you have somebody working side by side with you. It makes much easier, but then they're also asking you questions and guiding you through the process.

[00:16:45] Jami Shapiro: So we will help our clients first do the floor plan so we know exactly what's going to fit in their new home. We measure where they're going. We look at all of the walls, all the nooks and crannies. We look at the cabinet space, and then we really give them a realistic idea of what's going to fit for them so that they're not taking more than we know we can safely unpack.

[00:17:03] Jami Shapiro: And then we will organize all of the logistics. So we'll contact the movers and we work with vetted movers who we have a good relationship with, so that we know that if something goes wrong, they're gonna be our accountability partner In that we'll schedule the elevators, we'll coordinate with any third parties that are involved.

[00:17:20] Jami Shapiro: One of the things that makes us unique is that I actually was a realtor before starting Silver Linings Transitions actually named Silver Linings Transitions because I actually found out that I had cancer while I was working as a realtor, and I wanted to do something that was more fulfilling.

[00:17:37] Jami Shapiro: But I have kept my real estate license, and what I'm able to do is help people determine, what realtor is gonna be the best realtor for them and for their needs. Maybe they are eligible to rent out their home. Maybe they needA realtor who can help them get it fixed up to sell. it's just who's the right realtor based on the area their needs, the patient's level.

[00:17:57] Jami Shapiro: And then we partner with realtors who will pay for our client services out of what's called a referral fee. So in the real estate industry. if a realtor refers to another realtor and that they both have real estate licenses, then a realtor will usually pay some sort of percentage of the commission.

[00:18:14] Jami Shapiro: And what we do is we will take part of that commission and apply it towards our client's move services. So they're winning because they're gonna get a lot of the services that we provide for free. We are winning because we're getting a little bit of extra money that helps the business run.

[00:18:30] Jami Shapiro: And our clients are also benefiting from, knowing that they are being referred to, vetted people. And we are working with them through the whole process. We're not just like, oh, here's the realtor, you're on your own. We're really like handholding. And that's how we work with any client, whether we refer the mover or they are working with their own.

[00:18:47] Jami Shapiro: realtor, or they're not selling their house. But what we'll do next is, we get the floor plan done. Again, mindful of all of the needs that that person's gonna have. Then the sorting, we hear the stories, we help make the decisions, and then we help figure out what we can do with everything that person isn't going to keep.

[00:19:02] Jami Shapiro: Which I will tell you for many people, is the hardest part of the process because you spent a lifetime accumulating belongings a representation of who you are, of your life. Everybody wants their kids and their family to take their things. But I am findingthat is much harder these days.

[00:19:18] Jami Shapiro: A lot of people do not want their adult, they don't want the old items that have been kept because we're really living differently. And I always ask people, do you remember sitting around the dining room table and having the China hutch wherethe nice China and the crystal was on the.

[00:19:32] Jami Shapiro: Play and maybe like the wedding topper and some of the other, tchotchkes and, most people shake their head Yes, I remember that. Or the living room sofa that had the plastic on it because we wanted to keep the living room nice when people cameto visit. We don't see that anymore.

[00:19:46] Jami Shapiro: We're living really differently and so, the younger generations are more minimalist. They'd rather go to Ikea and buy disposable furniture, or they're thrifting and they're recycling, their belongings. So it's really just a very different generational shift of how we used to live and how we're living now.

[00:20:03] Jami Shapiro: But we do try to help our clients identify the best way for them to keep things out of landfill and make money if that's possible. some things are of high value. We have a woman on our team shout out to Christine. She's got more than 30 years of estate sale experience. That's actually how I met her, where she will meet with our clients and she will assess what they have.

[00:20:24] Jami Shapiro: And if there's something that's really sellable, we will get that sold. And then what we do is we coordinate the packing and the unpacking. So we tell our clients that they can spend every night in their home they can sleep in their bed unless there are high rises involved. And then that's another story.

[00:20:39] Jami Shapiro: But assuming that there's not more than one high rise, or we can get the elevator scheduled, sleep in your bed, and then the next morning we will take the sheets off your bed or we'll get clean sheets from you. We'll meet the movers and we will make sure that. When we get you to your new home, which is the very next day, so the night that we pack you're sleeping in your own home, you're making coffee, you're making your eggs, you're keeping everything in your refrigerator.

[00:21:04] Jami Shapiro: Then the morning that you're supposed to move one or two of our team members will meet the movers. They're gonna pack up the refrigerator, pack up the bedding, any of the last minute items that you needed, last night. And then the rest of the team is gonna meet the movers.

[00:21:17] Jami Shapiro: And while the movers are unloading the furniture and looking at the floor plan that we've created with the assistance of our client, mindful of, what was really important to keep, we are recreating the feeling of home. And if you had a curio cabinet and you wanted us to recreate it, we would take pictures of that.

[00:21:32] Jami Shapiro: We would recreate that curio cabinet for you. Only we would be dusting it off before we put it back. But looking at pictures, recreating nightstands, we wanna make sure that your new home feels as familiar as possible. But one of the things that I love best is when we're sorting with a client and they didn't remember they had something, or maybe they had pictures that they had never hung up.

[00:21:50] Jami Shapiro: So when they come into their home we have really made this inviting, warm space. And it usually feels much better than the home that they left because we have just really knocked it outta the park with decorating. And so, by the end of that unpacked day and then in a perfect move situation, the bed is made, the kitchen and the bathrooms are unpacked.

[00:22:11] Jami Shapiro: We've hung the pictures, we've organized everything so that everything is put away in a way that makes sense. I tell people when I was moving from Florida to California, I had three young kids. My ex-husband at the time was packed professionally by the movers who also packed the garbage. And they dumped us in a house filled with boxes and paper.

[00:22:30] Jami Shapiro: I had three young children no help, and I couldn't find my coffee pot the morning after the move. And so what's really great about what we do for our clients is that not only will we have the coffee pot ready for them, but we'll put the coffee mugs above the coffee pot and we'll put the the sugars or the teas, we put everything together so that it makes sense that you can find what you need.

[00:22:50] Jami Shapiro: And then of course, because you haven't done your own unpacking, you may have questions and we will usually photograph everything and we'll know exactly to tell you where something is. and I have a little prop that I bring when I go and do talks or, meet with clients I bring a magic wand because our tagline is "Making Moves Magical" because people don't realize that a move can really be as simple as it is.

[00:23:15] Jami Shapiro: And we can't take away the emotions and the overwhelm that come with moving, but we definitely Guide our clients through the process. And as I like to share, the silver lining is that, one of my closest friends died at the age of 40. And I think about all the time how she would, like to be in the situation to be a senior and be able to make that move.

[00:23:37] Jami Shapiro: And so we try to remind our clients that as much as there are, things that they're leaving behind, there's also so much to look Forward to, and we wanna guide their families through anything that they need to understand. There's something called relocation stress syndrome. So moving is stressful, especially for seniors.

[00:23:54] Jami Shapiro: And we wanna make, seniors aware of what they can expect, so the stress level isn't taking over. And we are kind of keeping them hydrated and we're keeping them calm through the process. We're letting the family know what's going on and what they can expect. Or working with any third parties so that everyone is on board and making that transition as easy as possible.

[00:24:14] Jami Shapiro: So that is in a nutshell, what a Move Manager does. And while I am talking about it, I want to advocate for moving to senior communities for seniors, especially for people with ADHD. And I'm gonna give you the reasons why, and I always say this almost every episode is that you meet one person with ADHD and you meet one person with ADHD.

[00:24:38] Jami Shapiro: So not everything is going to apply. But here's the things that I know and everybody has sort of come out with this research that social isolation is detrimental for our health. And they basically said social isolation is worse than smoking. It's worse than not exercising. So a lot of people who live on their own end up socially isolated.

[00:24:57] Jami Shapiro: Another thing that happens when you have ADHD is we have a lot of social anxiety, that comes from years of saying things that we wish we hadn't said or not having that filter. Or people think of us as, weird or eccentric or too much. So finding your tribe, finding people who you can identify with, and that's where I have loved interviewing people who have ADHD becoming an ADHD coach, being in a classroom filled with ADHD people because we have an understanding of each other.

 

[00:25:30] Jami Shapiro: Are you tired of feeling like you can't get it together? Struggling with clutter that overwhelms you despite your best efforts. Wondering why organization feels impossible while others make it look so easy. You are not alone and it's not your fault. Hi, I'm Jamie Shapiro. Host of the grandma has a DHD podcast and I understand exactly what you're going through.

[00:25:56] Jami Shapiro: I combine my years of hands-on work as founder of Silver Linings Transitions, a move management and home organizing company, together with A DHD coach, training and help adults 50 and over connect the dots between A DHD and lifelong struggles. Whether you are downsizing, decluttering, or simply trying to create systems that work for your ADHD brain, I provide virtual and in-person coaching for those in the San Diego area.

[00:26:25] Jami Shapiro: Together we'll develop practical strategies that honor how your brain actually works, not how you think it should work, ready to trade. Shame for understanding. Visit Grandma has adhd.com. Or call to schedule a discovery session at 7 6 0 6 0 7 7 3 7 7 because it's never too late to finally make sense of your story.

 

[00:26:57] Jami Shapiro: I loved the same interview that I did with this woman, Lisa, that I'm mentioning. She said that she was diagnosed at 57. She was 67, and she said that getting that diagnosis felt like she had permission to be herself. And that is definitely the case when we own our ADHD and we step into our ADHD,there's less shame and there's more understanding of the things that, "hey, this is just how my brain works." I was sharing about how I could never keep my room cleaned as a child. And that also makes me more compassionate parent and a more compassionate daughter. My mom has ADHD and I've struggled with my mom.

[00:27:29] Jami Shapiro: we've struggled, battled, since I can remember, but I have a lot more compassion for her now because I don't think my mom is lazy. In fact, the opposite is true. They say that people with ADHD tend to be even more intelligent than other people were. But we just have to be committed and we have to have a passion for what it is that we're trying to accomplish. We don't do well with the boring, mundane tasks. In fact, when I was a stay at home mom, but I worked part-time. I had three young kids and I remember feeling I could not get it together.

[00:27:58] Jami Shapiro: I remember missing like parent teacher conferences and my home didn't run efficiently and it just seems like everything was always chaotic and yet I could start a business, right? So it was where I'm attracted to where my focus and my passion lies, is where I can accomplish things. And so a lot of us really struggle with the day-to-day, keeping up with the house, remembering to do the laundry, remembering the appointments, and now you see my brain is going off on you. But again, I like demonstrating in real time, what ADHD looks like. So another issue that people with ADHD have is they make really good money, but they make poor financial decisions. And also that's due to two reasons. One is impulsive spending.

[00:28:38] Jami Shapiro: So a lot of times we're not thinking we don't have a future focus. So we're so busy living in the now moment that, "oh, I want this, I'm gonna buy it now," not thinking about, "oh, in 15 years, I need to have money saved so that I can retire." "I wanna take this vacation now." so when you don't have a future focus, then you don't plan as well financially as you should.

[00:28:58] Jami Shapiro: And impulse spending means that you might wreck up credit card bills. The other big concern for people for seniors with ADHD is safety concerns. I know personally that my car not the current one I have because I've got motion sensors on everything, but I have banged into every car that I've ever had.

[00:29:16] Jami Shapiro: Not because. I'm a bad driver, but because I get easily distracted I drop things on a daily basis. I'm recognizing as I'm aging, it's even more pronounced. And I'm trying to slow down, but it's like my brain goes so fast. I call it one thing is popcorn brain.

[00:29:33] Jami Shapiro: 'cause I've always got ideas going, but it's just like the speed. My oldest child who I've very open about, 'cause that's how I was diagnosed when they were diagnosed sometimes willstutter. Not because they stutter, but because the words and the brain just don't match with each other.

[00:29:48] Jami Shapiro: And it's just Fast. So social isolation and then the depression anxiety and feelings of being broken inadequate. Are really, really hard for people that each use. Like I said, a lot of us had those messages, our whole lives of, why were we talking too much? Why couldn't we get it together?

[00:30:04] Jami Shapiro: And we focus, as I shared with you guys in the beginning of the episode, on all of the negative things in our life rather than the positive things. So being in community, having a structure, having meals planned, because we tend to eat impulsively as well. A lot of people with ADHD will crave sugar for that dopamine.

[00:30:23] Jami Shapiro: So having a regular schedule, getting good sleep, not having to worry about the maintenance of all of the different things that we have to run. even for me, I struggle with all of the things that I have to do to run a household. So if you've ever thought about senior living or community living I am a huge advocate.

[00:30:39] Jami Shapiro: For it. One of the other really wonderful things about ADHD is that we have a strong sense of justice. I don't lie. I cannot lie. It will sit inside of me if I am not telling the truth. So just to say that I am speaking, from my heart what I want for my own life as I age, what I think is in the best interest of anybody who is isolated and alone, to just consider the tremendous social value that you would have in living in community if that is affordable. And again, one of the struggles with ADHD is we may not have the money, but even finding our tribe, finding senior centers where we can be around other people. One of the things that I am doing with the Grandma has ADHD community and I encourage you to join, is bringing like-minded people together.

[00:31:23] Jami Shapiro: And we are building a community of support. We're gonna be starting group coaching so that you canlet your freak flag fly. Anyway, I know that I threw a lot at you. I normally don't do solo episodes. It's a little scary as I've shared before, to kind of put it all out there because you're either rejecting me or, affirming me.

[00:31:42] Jami Shapiro: And that's A burden that people with ADHD carry is, worrying that we're too much or what people think of us. So I am going to put on my big girl pants and share this content because I think it's important. So, I talked about a couple different organizations that I wanna highlight.

[00:31:59] Jami Shapiro: One is NASMM, nasmm.org nasmm.org And that is the National Association of Senior Move Managers, although we inserted the word end specialty. And I believe I have mentioned the Certified Senior Advisors. That is a certification that I got to work with seniors. If I haven't mentioned it, then I should have mentioned it.

[00:32:19] Jami Shapiro: If you are a senior or you have a senior parent and you are looking for trusted advisors find your local CSA. And organization and they will put you in touch with the resources. So I will have both of those websites in our show notes. And if you would like to book a coaching session with me or learn any more about the Grandma has ADHD community.

[00:32:42] Jami Shapiro: You can find me on the Facebook group. Grandma has ADHD. You can email me at grandmahasadhd@gmail.com. And also the website. I'm just building more and more resources, but thank you so much for listening. If you liked it, please share it with your friends and family. And if you know someone who is moving and they just want a magical, easy move then you can find Silver Linings Transitions in San Diego or.

[00:33:09] Jami Shapiro: Go onto the NASMM site, and I would encourage you to look first for people who have the gold box around them. That means that they're A+ accredited. It means that they went through extra steps. to really be looked at by the parent organization. And also if you can't find someone in your area.

[00:33:26] Jami Shapiro: you can search by zip code. Then at least look for people who have the Diamond Society membership. That means that their business has been around for 10 or more years. And that says a lot about a company that they can achieve that level of love, longevity. So anyway, again, hope you enjoyed this podcast and I am.

[00:33:43] Jami Shapiro: Working with seniors and their families to really make make meaning out of the rest of our lives so that we can live in, complete acceptance or try to accept ourselves as best as possible. And learn as much as we can. Because when you learn about ADHD and it's impactyou do release a lot of shame that you may have carried your whole life.

[00:34:03] Jami Shapiro: So thanks so much for listening. 

 

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