Episode 54 – The Hidden Power of Asking for Help with ADHD

What if the secret to thriving with ADHD isn’t about more discipline—but about asking for help in the right way?

In this eye-opening episode of Grandma Has ADHD, host Jami Shapiro welcomes back ADHD coach, podcast host, and thought leader Jeff Copper to share his groundbreaking concept of the “Intangible Accommodation Axiom.”

Jeff reveals how ADHD is really an executive function impairment, why clarity—not motivation—is the true driver of action, and how direct, out-loud problem solving can change everything. From his own journey with dyslexia and late ADHD diagnosis to 15 years of hosting Attention Talk Radio, Jeff breaks down why talking it out is not weakness—it’s a natural, science-backed way to boost focus and productivity.

Whether you’re over 50, newly diagnosed, or simply tired of “trying harder,” this conversation will give you permission to ask for help without shame—and the tools to make it work.

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Grandma Has ADHD! We hope Jami's journey and insights into ADHD shed light on the unique challenges faced by older adults. Stay tuned for more episodes where we’ll explore helpful resources, share personal stories, and provide guidance for those navigating ADHD. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends who might benefit. Remember, Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

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Chapters

• 6:12 Why ADHD is an executive function impairment and what that really means
• 12:37 The surprising link between clarity, motivation, and procrastination
• 19:22 Why “perfect poisons progress” and how embracing imperfection helps ADHD brains
• 21:06 How shame and self-esteem struggles show up in ADHD—and how to reframe them
• 22:19 Why direct conversations are the ultimate ADHD accommodation
• 24:39 How verbal processing works—and why talking out loud helps problem-solving
• 27:20 Why life transitions (retirement, divorce, empty nest) can trigger new ADHD struggles
• 28:42 How the pandemic revealed “hidden” ADHD accommodations we all rely on
• 32:51 The truth about decluttering, decision fatigue, and why collaboration matters
• 34:09 Practical scripts for asking others to be your sounding board without guilt
• 36:09 A real-life story of how a Walmart greeter unknowingly helped solve an ADHD problem
• 40:47 Why asking for help is a gift to others—and how to do it without guilt