Grandma Has ADHD

Welcome to “Grandma Has ADHD,” the podcast dedicated to exploring the unique challenges and experiences of seniors living with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and referred by some as ADD. We’ll provide valuable insights, expert advice, and personal stories to help older adults, their families, and caregivers navigate the journey of managing ADHD in later life mixed with a little humor and real life, unedited examples of navigating life with ADHD.

Whether you are a senior who suspects you may have ADHD or love an ADHD Senior, “Grandma Has ADHD” embraces the saying “Making the rest of your life, the BEST of your life” and is here to provide you with the information, support, and resources you need to thrive.

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Grandma Has ADHD

Episode 57 - Gen Z and ADHD

October 14, 2025 • Jami Shapiro • Episode 57

0:00 | 44:10

What happens when ADHD runs in the family—but each generation experiences it completely differently?

In this candid and often hilarious episode of Grandma Has ADHD, host Jami Shapiro sits down with her 17-year-old daughter, Adyson, for an honest conversation about growing up with ADHD, understanding it across generations, and learning to embrace their brains—laundry piles and all.

From Jami’s early suspicions of Adyson’s ADHD in grade school to her eventual diagnosis in high school, the two share stories that many families will recognize: messy rooms, forgotten chores, and the constant “I’ll do it later.” But beneath the humor lies a deeper look at how ADHD shows up differently in every person, how Gen Z views mental health compared to previous generations, and why understanding neurodiversity is helping bridge family conversations with more compassion (and fewer arguments about laundry).

Together, Jami and Adyson explore self-acceptance, school struggles, and how ADHD can be both a daily challenge and a creative superpower. Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, or teen figuring it out, this episode reminds us that ADHD isn’t a flaw—it’s a different kind of brilliance.

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Grandma Has ADHD! We hope Jami's journey and insights into ADHD shed light on the unique challenges faced by older adults. Stay tuned for more episodes where we’ll explore helpful resources, share personal stories, and provide guidance for those navigating ADHD. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends who might benefit. Remember, Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

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[00:00:00] Have you ever thought, is this just me? When struggling to stay organized, start tasks, or manage time, for those of us over 50, these challenges might not be just aging. They could be ADHD hiding in plain sight for decades. I'm Jami Shapiro, host of Grandma has ADHD, and I'm building a community where your experiences matter.

Whether you are diagnosed, questioning or simply curious. You are not alone. Our Facebook group is filled with vibrant understanding. People over 50 who share their stories, strategies, and yes, even their struggles with plenty of laughter along the way. Ready to find your [00:01:00] people. Join our growing grandma has ADHD Facebook community.

Please like and subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen and share it with someone who might need to hear. They're not alone because ADHD doesn't have an age limit and neither does understanding yourself better. Together, we're changing the conversation about ADHD after 50 come be part of the story.

Jami Shapiro: Hi, and welcome to the latest edition of Grandma Has ADHD. I am sitting here with a very reluctant guest who has never listened to my podcast and is not a grandma, right?

Adyson Shapiro: Not yet. No. And,

Jami Shapiro: but you are a grandchild.

Adyson Shapiro: Yes.

Jami Shapiro: And you do have a grandmother with ADHD? Yes. Yes. So we are talking to my youngest child who you have heard me reference many times.

Her room is the one that sometimes I will record the podcast episode in because you have the best wifi. Yes. And sometimes you get to see the background of her room.

Adyson Shapiro: Mm-hmm.

Jami Shapiro: [00:02:00] Which would you say looks like a bomb went off?

Adyson Shapiro: Oh. It's different to my oldest sibling with ADHD just because it's not that my room is unhygienic, it's just very disorganized.

Jami Shapiro: You wanna be careful what you say. Yeah, because, because that oldest child may at one point Listen to this. I

Adyson Shapiro: love my oldest. I love my oldest sibling so much, I'm just saying. Mm-hmm. But my room is, it's just disorganized. I hate doing laundry. And I think that's what makes my room look super messy, just because there's so much laundry everywhere.

Jami Shapiro: So, alright. You hate doing laundry. Mm-hmm. Would you say that generally, like h household tasks are something you enjoy?

Adyson Shapiro: It really depends. When I was a kid, I enjoyed like physically cleaning stuff, like making sure, like washing the windows or mopping the floors. But it's, it's things like laundry and just like clean, like organizing things that really, I just can't do it.

I can't sit down. And just get it done unless I physically force myself to.

Jami Shapiro: Okay. So tell me about your [00:03:00] laundry. Tell me about your, your process. Now. Just like, just share it. So, so just for frame of reference if you're listing Adyson is 17. She is the baby of my three children. And although I suspected that she had ADHD back when you were in fourth grade, and I remember actually her report card came home and it was sort of like talks too much in class and I was like.

This is my report card, and I'm like, I'm pretty sure she has ADHD. And I told her, yeah, I think you have ADHD. And I got out a book, or I got out the internet to show her all of the really cool people in the world who had ADHD. And then my ex-husband dismissed me and said, don't diagnose her. Right?

Mm-hmm. And so we didn't really think about it or talk about it. And I, you know, here I was learning about ADHD, and it was only a couple of months ago when you actually said, mom, I think I have it. This.

Adyson Shapiro: I pretty, I was pretty sure I had it. I think all of high school. But it wasn't until like recently when it was actually affecting me.

It was my junior year of high school, and I, you know, I, it's [00:04:00] really hard for me to focus in school and I was like, I am pretty sure I have ADHD. If I can get some resources to help me with school, I wanna get diagnosed. So I. I did and then I kind of was like, told you so, 'cause and I understand where she's coming from, but for a while she was only used to seeing one specific type of ADHD, the one that she has and that my oldest sibling have.

But I don't have that kind. It's different and that's normal. But you really don't see it in me unless I'm like. Because I can be pretty talkative, but with my family, not as much just because it's a different dynamic, but like the things that go on in my brain, it just makes sense that the, the, the fact that I have it,

Jami Shapiro: anybody who saw your room would know you had ADHD or, or lives with you when you you can see that Adyson has left a path in her wake.

Oh, well, she clearly ate this because she's like left every, like, it's like the breadcrumbs of, of Hansel and Gretel. Which, which I will say I, I understand it. So I, and that's been really helpful for me with that perspective is like, I'm not, I recognize that she isn't trying to be difficult or like leave everything for me to clean up.

But [00:05:00] my partner who does not have ADHD and, and she is an OPK, which means other people's kid. And what I have discovered is that you have more tolerance for your own children than you do someone else's. And so living with somebody and having to. Spend. My child who always makes messes is, is hard. So anybody that that could see how you lived would know.

Adyson Shapiro: I wanna emphasize that they're not unhygienic messes. No. I'm a very cleanly clean person. You shower

Jami Shapiro: and rough your brush, brush your teeth daily. I'm just very disorganized. Very disorganized, and And you're so lucky because you have me as a mom.

Adyson Shapiro: Oh yes.

Jami Shapiro: You're lucky.

Adyson Shapiro: Very lucky. Yeah.

Jami Shapiro: But I, you know, this was a very spontaneous conversation because Adyson, again, does not listen to my podcast, but they, my kids, everybody makes fun of me because I don't make the ADHD.

ADHD is like, tell, tell, tell the audience about life with me with ADHD.

Adyson Shapiro: Just ever since she started this podcast and got her training, it's been very, it's been her hyper fixation. Just the way that, at least in conversations with me, my ADHD can of, has to connect to everything, which I don't necessarily [00:06:00] see it that way.

I can see how it affects a lot of the things in my daily life, but I don't think it consumes it, if that makes sense. But that might just be because my ADHD isn't as severe as other people's, or, I just don't view it that way because it is a mi it could be a mindset, honestly. Not saying that ADHD is a mindset, but how you view it is.

Jami Shapiro: Well, I definitely think your attitude is key, whether you have ADHD or not, and how you view something 100%. Mm-hmm. But I will also say that ADHD act actually does wax and wane throughout our life. And for me, I don't think my ADHD was as pronounced as as when I hit perimenopause, which thankfully you're not there.

But like, have you noticed like women who have ADHD we tend to have more heightened emotion around our, our cycle. Like we're more sensitive to our menstrual cycle. Yeah. Have you noticed that's the case for you versus your friends who might not have it?

Adyson Shapiro: I don't really ask my friends about how they are before their cycle, but I definitely noticed that that's normal 'cause of hormones.

But I definitely am a little bit more just [00:07:00] out of it before my period. I don't know if that is because my h adhd just because how my body works in general, but I can understand why that. Can occur. Mm-hmm.

Jami Shapiro: So we were gonna, we, we were gonna talk about your laundry just to give somebody a perspective to maybe hear themselves as a teenager.

So tell me, tell me, let's talk about the cycle of your laundry. Okay.

Adyson Shapiro: So I just have a, a lot of clothes, like almost too many clothes. I think I cope with retail therapy sometimes. Well,

Jami Shapiro: so by the way, I wanna side note, one of the ways that ADHD shows up for people who are inattentive, which is Adyson's type, is either through acquisition and buying, or, and she thrifts, so it's not like she's spending a lot of money but shopping compulsive spending or eating, those are the two big main ways, by the way.

Mm-hmm. So you, but you, your generation, we're gonna, we're gonna talk ADHD all over this conversation your ADHD definitely. See, I didn't turn off the do not disturb and then the, the squirrel and the thing went off, so I've gotta put the do not disturb on. But oh yeah. So you're clothing, laundry, laundry. See, go ahead.

Adyson Shapiro: Well, I do also have divorced parents, and I go back and forth between houses, which definitely doesn't make it [00:08:00] better.

So what will happen is, let's say I finally like, there's a pile and I do my laundry, and usually it's the clean clothes are sitting in the clean bin for a good like. Two weeks, the minimum. They are sitting there for a while. Mm-hmm. Specifically at my mom's house. I have a couch that I sometimes put my clean laundry in because maybe I don't have another hamper.

I don't like, I don't mix it with the dirty laundry, that's for sure. I just wait.

Jami Shapiro: But don't you sometimes not know what's clean and what's dirty?

Adyson Shapiro: I always know.

Jami Shapiro: You do know. I always know because I can't tell. But you piles

Adyson Shapiro: with like jeans and like shirts. I it. To me, it doesn't matter as much when it's like I, I worked out in it.

But things that, like I get dirty in like underwear and socks and like workout clothes. That stuff I, I know is dirty and I will wash it and I will never wear it unless it's cleaned again because I get kind of sensitive to those things. I just don't like the fact, the thought of like being dirty. But what what will happen is I will like pick the clothes out of the clean hamper until all the clothes I like are gone.

And then [00:09:00] there's another I. Because, because I'm still, you know, going through clothes. I'll put it in the dirty laundry basket. So I'll have two laundry baskets. One, one is clean, one is dirty. I know which ones are which, but it's getting really overwhelming. So usually I'll just, like, it takes like, honestly a few months, like, I'm not even exaggerating 'cause I always put it off because I'm, I'm a pretty busy person and I kind of need to set off like a good few hours.

To just get my laundry done because it is so consuming for me. I'm getting better at it now, but this was like middle of high school for me. It would take me months just to fully get all my laundry done, so I'll wash the dirty bin and then. I have two clean ones and then usually like a few days after, I will like just dump it all on the floor and I'll finally do it.

There are are some cases where I will set, 'cause I always set aside things. I have like a weird way of doing my laundry where I'll set, before folding anything, I will toss them all into different. Piles of, of this is tops, this is bottoms, this is pajamas, these are underwear. And usually with the tops, I put them on [00:10:00] hangers and I hang them up in my closet.

And like currently right now, all my tops are sitting on my couch because I forgot to put them away and I've been putting it off for a while.

Jami Shapiro: So I have a question for you. Is there anything that ever motivates you? Like, you've got all this laundry, you hate doing it. Is there anything that ever can like, make you do it?

Get it done.

Adyson Shapiro: A lot of the times it's timelines. Like I wanna have all my clothes put away and stuff and my room fully clean before school starts. Just because like a fresh start. So you give

Jami Shapiro: yourself a deadline.

Adyson Shapiro: Yeah. And also sometimes if like I have somebody coming over key, that's

Jami Shapiro: what I was looking for.

Umhmm.

Adyson Shapiro: A lot of the times though, I've just been like, sorry, my room is messy. I'll just like shove it all in a corner and I'll pretend that it's not there. 'cause the rest of the room is clean, but it's just the laundry that's. Kind of everywhere. So I'll just like put it all in a, in a, in a pile and I'll just say, don't look over there.

Jami Shapiro: Do you know that when I was a child, like the only thing I ever used to get in trouble for was my room.

Adyson Shapiro: Oh, really?

Jami Shapiro: Yeah. And I, I, this is where the acceptance of ADHD and the acknowledgement is like, okay, I, I understand the struggle is [00:11:00] real. So I try not to get onto Adyson, which I think has the knowledge has made me a better parent.

Okay. So this is the question that I really wanted to ask you. So you're representing. What is your generation called? You're not Gen Z?

Adyson Shapiro: I am Gen Z.

Jami Shapiro: You're Gen Z?

Adyson Shapiro: Yeah. Okay.

Jami Shapiro: Tell me about ADHD, because you know, one of the things that I'm trying to do is de-stigmatize a DH adhd mm-hmm. In older generations, because we didn't talk about mental health and challenges the way that your generation does.

Mm-hmm. Would you agree with that? Yeah. And I would also say that, you know, while you have ADHD as a result of your genetics. Because it's been passed down through our family. Do you

Adyson Shapiro: think like TikTok and the COVID Pandemic definitely shaped it?

Jami Shapiro: I think actually it's, it's been more of the having you guys were raised with, with constant stimulation.

Yeah. And your brains.

Adyson Shapiro: I think it's, I think it's TikTok, but that's just my opinion.

Jami Shapiro: I, I think it was before TikTok, but I will say that a lot of people have said that COVID made it worse. Yeah. Because all of a sudden we didn't have such structure. Mm-hmm. Which is why, which is [00:12:00] actually one of the reasons that they think people who've retired may struggle more with their ADHD because they now have this like, wide open space.

Now, let me ask you this question. If you have a wide open day how does that make you feel if you've got nothing planned?

Adyson Shapiro: It depends on a lot of factors. But I'd say if, like, if I've had a really stressful few, like few days ahead of that, or if I've been working a lot and I have like one day off and if I can't make any last minute plans, I'll us usually, those are the days 'cause I rarely have them where I will try and get like laundry and stuff like that done.

And if not, then. I always just have like these little tasks that I want to get done in my head that I just never really end up doing. So I'll usually do those tasks. They're just like little things like, oh, I wanna sew this thing, or I wanna fix the hole in my pants, or just the smallest things. Or, I wanna go to Michael's and get.

Stuff to do

Jami Shapiro: this. So this is where ADHD shows up [00:13:00] differently because if I have an entire day, I feel like I have to fill it, like I feel, and also sometimes I don't even know where to start. Yeah.

Adyson Shapiro: Well, I, I hate just sitting in my bed. I don't like doing that. But sometimes, like my motivation. Can be varied.

So like I will want to do all these tasks, but I will physically not want like be able to

Jami Shapiro: Yeah, that's very ADHD also. Yeah. Okay. So back to generation. So I do think some of the, the people of your generation have it the way that you have it, and I do think that. Like the constant stimulation and the growing up with an iPad definitely is making people's brains become deficient on dopa.

Like they're addicted to the constant movement and I think their brains need more. But, but outside of that, if somebody is, is diagnosed with ADHD mm-hmm. Is it something that they feel like they need to keep secret?

Adyson Shapiro: Not really, no. Usually I can tell and I like I've, most of the people in my life have ADHD.

Honestly, a lot of my friends do. A lot of people have dated, I've had ADHD, so it's, it's not really a thing that, well, 'cause you're very open about it. Like if first minute you meet somebody, you will [00:14:00] probably say that you have ADHD. It's not like, that's not how it is in my generation. It's more just. We don't feel the need to, I dunno how to word this properly.

We're not, it's not stigmatized. Yeah. It's not stigmatized. We're not ashamed of it. It's just not something we feel the need to bring up because honestly it is so common, at least in the area that I am. Mm-hmm. Because, you know, therapy is very accepted. And

Jami Shapiro: you also go to an artsy school. Yeah, I go

Adyson Shapiro: to an artsy school.

I go and I, we're in like a liberal area where therapy is, you know, pretty normalized. So people that have ADHD are aware of it because they're usually in therapy for it. As opposed to a smaller town where it's more stigmatized because we are in a very nice area where it's not as stigmatized, but that's not how it is everywhere.

Mm-hmm. There's still little pockets of, especially in America where things aren't as cool.

Jami Shapiro: Okay. Well, we're gonna pause when we come back. What I want to ask you is, if, if you could put yourself in a situation, maybe like grandma, where all this time you've, you had ADHD, like [00:15:00] something was off. But you didn't have a name for it.

Then, you know, what, what advice you would give to that person who is discovering it? Did, did that even make any sense?

Adyson Shapiro: Not at all.

Jami Shapiro: Well, we're gonna talk about it offline and figure out how I wanna ask this question. We're gonna take a pause because you're going to hear we do not receive any funding.

And so one of the things that I do is I promote my business as a coach and also the services that Silver Linings Transitions provides. So. Hang in there. We're gonna take a pause and I also just wanna encourage you to like, and subscribe to the podcast and join our growing Facebook. Grandma has ADHD community.

Gotta, I gotta like build it up because the more people who embrace their ADHD and find their tribe the less stigma there will be. So we're gonna be right back. Okay.

Hey there. Grandma has ADHD listeners. [00:16:00] I'm your host, Jami Shapiro. And do I have some exciting news? My book, this explains so much understanding. Undiagnosed, ADHD is now available on Amazon. My mom, Vicki and I wrote this together. She's the original grandma who inspired this whole journey. I'm calling this the Perfect is the Enemy of Done version.

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Here is the exciting part. Everyone who purchases the book gets free access to a virtual [00:17:00] book club that my mom and I are hosting. So mark your calendars for Sunday, October 26th at 3:30 PM Pacific, 6:30 PM Eastern. We are going to share stories, laugh about our ADHD moments and create that safe space.

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Understanding your ADHD isn't adding to your plate. It's finally understanding why your plate has always felt so full. I cannot wait to see you at the book club and hear your stories, and if the book resonates, please leave an Amazon review [00:18:00] as well as for this podcast to help other women find their light bulb moments.

Thank you for being part of this community. This book exists because of all of you.

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Jami Shapiro: We are back and I figured out a way that I wanted to ask Adyson the question, and I said, with all of the challenges that come with having ADHD, can you imagine what it would've been like to, to not know and not have it be something that people were aware of?

Adyson Shapiro: Yeah.

Jami Shapiro: So describe what you think that would've felt like.

Adyson Shapiro: It definitely would've felt. And it's not that I can necessarily relate to people that are in that position, but in other ways I do know somewhat what it feels like to be just have something off with you and not really [00:20:00] understand what it is. And I think in a way, my A DH ADHD has played a factor in this just because growing up I've always kind of been a little bit.

It's different, but not like like a noticeable amount. Not where it's like, you know, everybody could kind of see and point and stare, but just, I never really felt like I clicked with like the other kids in my school. And part of it was because I'm queer and you know, it's obviously a bit different growing up like that.

But also a big part of it is because I have ADHD and my brain doesn't really, I can't really focus on the same things or. I get those little hyper fixations that most people don't really get. So I can understand what it's like for somebody who grew up in a society where it wasn't as accepted. Just in general because, you know, to feel like there's something wrong with you that you can't control is really hard.

And when you finally get the word and like understand what exactly it is, it must feel incredibly relieving. And not only that, but to find a community where people can relate to you, that must feel like, thankfully, I'm never gonna have to experience [00:21:00] that, but it, I can just imagine how good it feels for those people that are in that position.

Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm. There's also grief. Can you imagine like someone like grandma is, is her perspective, who is super bright but didn't have the ability to finish college because she couldn't concentrate and she didn't know why she couldn't concentrate. And if, you know, if she had known and she'd maybe been properly medicated.

You could see where it would've been a really different experience.

Adyson Shapiro: I also think that grief can come in a way where it's like, not saying that for older generations because there was no way to know what ADHD is, but say somebody in my generation gets diagnosed much later in life for whatever reason, and they don't know, there isn't, I would say they could reflect on their life and think all the things they could have done to help with their ADHD if they had just known how different their life could be if they had just known they had ADHD.

Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm.

Adyson Shapiro: You know?

Jami Shapiro: So here's a question that I ask all my guests and I'm gonna ask you, okay? Okay. If you could press a button and you would not have ADHD never ever have had it, never [00:22:00] have it again. Would you press the button?

Adyson Shapiro: Could there be like a time limit for it?

Jami Shapiro: It's a, I press the button. I don't have it ever.

Never and never didn't have it. Or I, or I keep it.

Adyson Shapiro: I would get rid of it, honestly, just because, at least for right now, I know the option is to never have it, but while I'm still in school, it's really hard to have it, and especially because. The school system is a bit wonky. Like I wasn't able to get a 5 0 4 because my ADHD wasn't as visible or it didn't affect me as much as other people.

Explain what a 5 0 4 is. It's kind of like an accommodation that schools provide for students with learning disabilities. You, for ADHD, you get like extended time on tests or, you know, I don't really know exactly what details it implies, just because I don't have one, because I wasn't able to get one.

But it definitely helps because some workload might be easier for you where you'll have more time on tests or just extensions for [00:23:00] papers or things like that, which could be very easy. And 'cause essentially students with ADHD like me have to work twice as hard just to be. Average, I would say. And I have also a friend who has ADHD who gets good grades, and they were also denied a 504, just because

Jami Shapiro: their grades were too good.

So first of all, I wanna address the button and then I wanna talk about something else. Mm-hmm. So what I have heard from people is a lot of people have said that if the button option had been available to them in. Goal, they would have pressed it. So it's very, very normal because you are in, in a space of conformity right now.

Yeah. You have to do things the way people want it done. You can't be an entrepreneur. You can't just go and do what you learn, what you wanna learn, what interests you, how you are, you are scripted, right? Mm-hmm. It is, it is scripted for you. And so that seems to be a universal feeling for people. But I also wanna say that another reason that a lot of people actually don't discover that they have ADHD or they don't just.

Discovered until they're like in medical school or in a challenging school, [00:24:00] is that there's something called twice exceptional. A lot of gifted children actually have ADHD, but because they are so bright, they compensate for it. So I would say that, you know, for you, not, I'm not late putting the gifted label on you, but yeah, I wasn't

Adyson Shapiro: even that label was

Jami Shapiro: a kid.

I would say that a lot of people with ADHD tend to be very bright and our brains. Do think differently. So we're able to come up with solutions to things we thrive under pressure. Right. Would you say if you have something to do at the last minute, you have a more ability to get it done?

Adyson Shapiro: No,

Jami Shapiro: actually really, I

Adyson Shapiro: get really stressed.

I like, of course I will get it done, but I will be so. I'll just get distracted. I can't just like lock in and like study. So like a test or a paper. I can't just, it's gonna take me a while. That's why I don't really procrastinate till the last, last minute, more like the last week. 'cause I know it's gonna take me a while.

I know I'm gonna do it in chunks. I

Jami Shapiro: can't just sit down and get it done. Do you ever hyperfocus on anything? Like, do you ever, like everything falls away and this is all you pay attention [00:25:00] to in school? No, just in. And is there anything in life that you just are like. Like, I don't, I don't wanna do anything else but this.

Adyson Shapiro: Yeah.

Jami Shapiro: What is that?

Adyson Shapiro: It's like when I'm dating someone, I get really obsessive with, not obsessive, but it's harder for me to focus slash care about other things.

Jami Shapiro: I have heard that that is also very common. A, it's, it's not very

Adyson Shapiro: healthy and I'm working on it, but it definitely is how it has been for me. Where I will just like, especially when I was like a bit younger, like earlier in high school when I had to, like, when I didn't have a car and I didn't have all this freedom and I was kind of forced to be at home more often, I was like, I don't wanna be with my family.

I wanna be with this person or this person. I can get that with, with friends too, and also with music specifically, that kind of So you're writing

Jami Shapiro: a

Adyson Shapiro: song? No, no, actually it's, it's just like the idea of. Because there are times where I'm like, I really want to do blank with music. It doesn't matter what it is.

I'm just like, I want to get something done with music right now. 'cause I feel like sitting still and not doing anything with music, I will [00:26:00] feel like a, almost like a failure. So I kind of like force myself to focus on music, but it is harder, it, it comes much easier to focus on somebody that I'm interested in.

Jami Shapiro: I would say Well, okay. So parting words for our audience, Adyson, you are, you are representing Gen Z to let's say, to grandmas. Right? What what would you want to say to them on behalf of your generation so that they, they have a better understanding of sort of like, what it's like to to be. In the world that you're in right now, and this can be ADHD or not ADHD, by the way.

This can just be, let's see, this creative brain of yours.

Adyson Shapiro: It's just very different. I don't really. I don't know. I feel like my generation definitely doesn't come with the mind as commonly of a mindset as respect your elders. We definitely are a generation that believes that respect is earned, not just given.

And in ways I am like that. I do respect everybody generally, but I am definitely not the kind of person that if. [00:27:00] An older person is being rude to me. I'm not going to allow it just because they're older, if that makes sense. And I think that's what a lot of senior citizens don't understand is that we aren't going to put up with rude or difficult people just because society tells us to.

It's not because we ourselves are rude people. It's more just the fact that we definitely have a lot more strength, not strength, but. We come from a different time where other things are more accepted, like it's now considered asking for help is a sign of strength instead of weakness. We also, also, we are a bit different with customer service workers, which is what a lot of people think.

We're just like, we are afraid to ask for like, catch up or if if we get an order, if they get an order wrong, like we will just ignore it because we don't wanna make their day. And I work in customer service, so I understand that. But it's also a big difference where older people aren't really afraid to just like ask for what they

Jami Shapiro: want.

No, I, but

Adyson Shapiro: sometimes as somebody who works in customer service, sometimes it doesn't come across as very friendly or understanding. It's more just like, you mess [00:28:00] this up. This is your fault. I demand X, Y, Z.

Jami Shapiro: There's definitely a way to approach it. I'm not

Adyson Shapiro: saying every senior citizen is like that, but there are other law.

I'm not a senior. I'm not saying you are either,

Jami Shapiro: but I don't like the word senior citizen, just a senior. Or an older adult. It doesn't have older adult or a wiser adult. I like wiser adult.

Adyson Shapiro: It's called crystallized intelligence. I learned this actually, the one subject that I genuinely have liked in school that I was able to pay attention to was AP psychology, and we learned that as you grow older, it's not.

You are smarter, it's that you're crystallized intelligence, which is just like general knowledge of things increases, but your active intelligence, which is like the ability to think creatively or think of new skills or just be able to do a lot more things, that does decrease. I think it peaks

Jami Shapiro: like mid adulthood.

So one of the blessings of ADHD is that we are naturally curious and so we tend to, yeah, I'm sure

Adyson Shapiro: it's different for ADHD, this is just like a general life thing. Sure.

Jami Shapiro: So one of the things that I actually just learned, which I think is gonna, you're gonna find very cool, I actually heard it on Tracy [00:29:00] Otsuka's podcast and she does the ADHD for Smart Ass Women, and she was saying that for women that our self-esteem tends to be at its worst.

Right before we are we hit our period, so around that 12, 13, when we're starting to get our breasts. And that that's like usually your lowest self-esteem and that it actually peaks in your fifties. And it's because you, you know, you have a better sense of who you are and that's why a lot of women in their fifties are more willing to go and start businesses or to leave marriages because, you know, we finally have that self-esteem.

Adyson Shapiro: Mm-hmm.

Jami Shapiro: So could you see that?

Adyson Shapiro: Oh yeah, definitely.

Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm.

Adyson Shapiro: I think, 'cause now I'm, you know, I'm 17, I'm a senior in high school. It's not like I am the most confident person, but also

Jami Shapiro: it's more confident than you were at 12 and 13. Oh

Adyson Shapiro: yeah. It definitely goes up. But it's normal to 'cause, especially going into college, it's like not.

It's normal to kind of question exactly who you are. Like right now I'm probably going through a huge identity crisis and it's, it's normal. I know it is, but it's just the fact that because of my ADHD, I think there's so many [00:30:00] things that I could see myself doing or wanting to be, or I get all these ideas in my head where it's like, oh, I could start this, or I could do this before college or all these things.

Or maybe for college I can go here, here, here and do this. And because there's so many possibilities, it is so hard to decide this is who I am, this is who I want to be, and this is what I will become.

Jami Shapiro: Well, I, I would imagine, and I can't speak for someone neurotypical 'cause I haven't had that experience, but I would imagine that's pretty common regardless, right?

So if you could turn the tables and ask your amazing mother who is an expert in ADHD or is there anything that you'd wanna ask, you know, or.

Adyson Shapiro: You can be on the spot like that. I also live with you, so if I wanted to know, I probably would ask you. I'll think of something right now. You always see how ADHD is your superpower, but you never really explain as to why. And for me it's harder to understand that because I'm in school and so much of my life is revolving around academic validation. Why do you think

Jami Shapiro: that it's a good thing? I love that question and I have to tell you that [00:31:00] nobody has asked me that question.

Oh, welcome. So I, I heard secret weapon is a better word, secret weapon. And I will say that I am not going to say that ADHD is always amazing 'cause I absolutely have had my struggles with it as well. Definitely in school, definitely more sensitive than the average person. So I, I definitely wanna you know, I, I am in certain situations emotionally dysregulated, so I overreact to things sometimes or.

I, I perceive rejection, which I, I hate that, like, so I'm not gonna say that I love every part of ADHD, but what I love about ADHD is, well, I would say a couple of things. One is now keep in mind that I have hyperactivity and inattentive, ADHD. Neither of my children are hyperactive. And so I would say that the energy level that I have, I love it. It, it has been a problem in relationships for me because a lot of people can't do the amount that I can do, [00:32:00] and they don't go, go, go, go, go, and then I lose my patience. But now, as a 55-year-old woman, I'm like, okay, I don't need to be, I don't have to have my partner by my side. I don't even have to have somebody with me.

Like I learned, I can hike by myself and I can, so I, I, I love my energy level, especially as I'm aging. Which, you know, I, I am more motivated to keep going and I think that that also helps me to stay younger and healthier. So I would say that is a superpower. Mm-hmm. Which, can you understand where,

Adyson Shapiro: yeah, I just mean like in ge.

So do you think the general thing is just aging help? It helps most, no. And I will

Jami Shapiro: say the other thing that I love is that I, I love the MacGyver aspect, and you probably don't know who MacGyver is, but he was this person who could, he was like a, i, I think he was like a mystery. I, I've never seen that.

I just heard the term that he could just always like, solve a problem. Like, you know, making glue, I mean making gum do something that he needed or just like MacGyvering a situation. So basically having a really creative solution that nobody would've ever thought of. So I love that my, my brain is able to like, make to put things together and, and create creative [00:33:00] solutions.

Like, for instance, this I, I, I'm gonna go on a tangent with you guys, but. So the grandma has ADHD concept came to me when I realized that grandma had ADHD even though I knew for nine years before that I had it, and I had worked with cluttered clients and I never, I never saw it. Mm-hmm. And then when I realized that grandma had it, I was literally like in here sweeping the floor and I was like.

I need to do a podcast and that, I mean, the name Grandma has ADHD came to me.

Adyson Shapiro: I, I get that a lot with music whenever I'm, 'cause whenever, 'cause I write music whenever I have an idea it comes to me and like a random idea and I have to like get out like my notes app or a voice memo when I start it.

But the only problem is I can't finish it after that. I'll like have like a few jots or I'll get like a verse down on a chorus, but I can't finish it.

Jami Shapiro: Do you know what might be able to help you finish those tasks? Time an ADHD coach. ADHD coach might be able to help you. I loved the expression of Ned Howell, and if you've listened to my podcast, which you haven't, but my audience has,

Adyson Shapiro: I've like listened to like five minutes of it before.

Jami Shapiro: That's wonderful. Thank you. We're also very [00:34:00] honest and we have a strong sense of, of justice. But Ned Howwell says that having ADHD is like having a Ferrari brain. Do you know a Ferrari brain is? Ferrari's, like a really fine tuned, expensive car. Yeah. And bicycle breaks. So if you've got this amazing tool, but if you don't know how to use it.

Then it's not gonna work for you. So one of the benefits of ADHD coaching or just understanding your ADHD is, okay, I know that this is when I'm the most creative, this is what I know I need to do to maximize on that creativity, right? So that's where you, you wanna hone your skill. So I would say that my creativity and I also will say that the thing that I.

Not to toot my horn, but one of the things that I have heard about people with ADHD and I've definitely seen this a lot of people, is that there's a, a magnetism, like people, there's an energy that a lot of people are drawn to, and I, I think that that could be my ADHD. I don't know. I know the other two are definitely my people powers.

I, I'm

Adyson Shapiro: definitely in social [00:35:00] situations. I will find myself more what's the word that I'm looking for? Not like, like attracted, but like in a, just in general way, not like a physical way. Just like I find myself drawn more to people with ADHD just because am I, because that's how my brain works too. But like it's always, it's kind of hard for me to have a conversation with somebody who doesn't have ADHD because like, I keep.

I jump from conversation to conversation to conversation, and that's normal for me. And so when I'm with somebody else who is just trying to get back on track or I keep kind of like drifting them off, they'll notice it before I notice it. But with somebody with ADHD, we can kind of flow together and then we like, wait what we're talking about and then snap back into it and then kind, it's the whole cycle.

Jami Shapiro: Would you also say that your conversation with people who are have ADHD is deeper and it's not surface level? Yes. How do you, how do you feel about small talk?

Adyson Shapiro: I despise it. Mm-hmm. I try to avoid it at all costs, and I don't know, I just, I, I like parties and I like socializing, but I just know that if I'm gonna be [00:36:00] sitting there for hours talking to people that I barely know about.

Stupid, like the same things over and over again. I'd rather just stay home.

Jami Shapiro: So I leave. Did you know that I will go to something and then I, I leave. I, I say, do you know expression I use? Well,

Adyson Shapiro: I try.

Jami Shapiro: I hit my wall.

Adyson Shapiro: Yeah,

Jami Shapiro: I hit my wall and I'm out the door. Well,

Adyson Shapiro: usually at party's I'll go to with somebody who I'm closer with.

And so that way I'm not just stuck with people I barely know. But if I am in a situation like that, I will want to leave early. I will get so bored.

Jami Shapiro: Mm-hmm.

Adyson Shapiro: It's not that it's boring, it's just also so uncomfortable. 'cause I feel like a lot of the times I have to carry the conversation and it can be really overwhelming just to talk about things that I do not care about.

And I can feel like I can be a little bit awkward too about that. I am much more natural when I'm speaking with somebody I'm comfortable with about deeper like philosophical conversations almost. I'd rather any day have a deep conversation than. An insignificant one.

Jami Shapiro: I will say one other thing that I've noticed in my kids and, and other people with [00:37:00] ADHD and in myself is we tend to be very quick witted.

Like I saw Will, so Adyson's older sibling is a drag king. In New York, very creative career and really talented. You can find Benedict the Bastard is their their their stage name. But I saw them perform and it was very much a spontaneous, I, I can't think of the word, where you just go up and.

You just kind of wing it.

Adyson Shapiro: Improv.

Jami Shapiro: Improv. Thank you. See, there's that. Can't find the word. And I would say that that's another thing with our brains that they just, I mean, do, would you say, and this is how I feel, like, doesn't it feel like your brain is just like, kind of like it just go, go, go, go, go. Like, I'm doing like a want, want, want, like a warp kind of thing.

Yeah. Would you agree with that experience? Yeah. Was this fun?

Adyson Shapiro: I love talking about myself.

Jami Shapiro: Thank you, Adyson. Any parting words for our listeners?

Adyson Shapiro: Stay swag.

Jami Shapiro: Stay swag. What does swag mean? Adyson?

Adyson Shapiro: This means cool, awesome, [00:38:00] silly. All the all the things, whatever you want. Stay swag.

Jami Shapiro: Awesome. Well, just because you're growing older, it doesn't mean you should not continue to grow.

And learning about ADHD and its impact on your life is just going to make you accept yourself, help you accept yourself, and, and accept the people in your life for who they are. Mm-hmm. Would you agree with that? Yeah. Thank you so much for listening. Like and share the podcast and join us on the grandma has ADHD Facebook page, and if you are not watching this, but you are listening to it, you just saw, I just saw a big eye roll that you would get from a 17-year-old.

No,

Adyson Shapiro: I didn't give you an eye roll. I didn't do that. Uhhuh.

Jami Shapiro: I've got it on proof. But anyway, thanks for listening.

The opinions expressed on Grandma has ADHD podcast are those of our guests and hosts and are intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. This podcast does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The content discussed in this episode is not a substitute for [00:39:00] professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health, professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast.

If you think you may have a medical emergencies. Call your doctor or emergency services immediately. The host, guests and producers of Grandma has ADHD. Do not assume any liability for the content of this podcast. Listen at your own discretion.

Hey there. Grandma has ADHD listeners. I'm your host, Jami Shapiro. And do I have some exciting news? My book, this explains so much understanding. Undiagnosed, ADHD is now available on Amazon. My mom, Vicki and I wrote this together. She's the original grandma who inspired this whole journey. [00:40:00] I'm calling this the Perfect is the Enemy of Done version.

Here is the exciting part. Everyone who purchases the book gets free access to a virtual book club that my mom and I are hosting. So mark your calendars for Sunday, October 26th at 3:30 PM Pacific, 6:30 PM Eastern. We are going to share stories, laugh about our ADHD moments and create that safe space.

Where you can finally take off that [00:41:00] girdle when you read the book, you'll know what I mean? And just be yourself. Here's what to do. Head to Amazon's search. This explains so much. Jami Shapiro. Grab your copy, paperback or ebook and visit grandma has h adhd.com to take the ADHD quiz and get your book club registration link.

Understanding your ADHD isn't adding to your plate. It's finally understanding why your plate has always felt so full. I cannot wait to see you at the book club and hear your stories, and if the book resonates, please leave an Amazon review as well as for this podcast to help other women find their light bulb moments.

Thank you for being part of this community. This book exists because of all of you.

Hey there. Grandma has ADHD listeners. I'm your host, Jami Shapiro. And do [00:42:00] I have some exciting news? My book, this explains so much understanding. Undiagnosed, ADHD is now available on Amazon. My mom, Vicki and I wrote this together. She's the original grandma who inspired this whole journey. I'm calling this the Perfect is the Enemy of Done version.

Here is the exciting part. Everyone who purchases the book gets free access to a virtual book club that my mom and I are [00:43:00] hosting. So mark your calendars for Sunday, October 26th at 3:30 PM Pacific, 6:30 PM Eastern. We are going to share stories, laugh about our ADHD moments and create that safe space.

Understanding your ADHD isn't adding to your plate. It's finally understanding why your plate has always felt so full. I cannot wait to see you at the book club and hear your stories, and if the book resonates, please leave an Amazon review as well as for this podcast to help [00:44:00] other women find their light bulb moments.

Thank you for being part of this community. This book exists because of all of you.